Chris – Page 5 – C J AIREY

Day 6 – Goood Morning Vietnam!

Well, another day where we only end up surfacing at late morning. And even that is only because we want to give the aircon units a bit of respite!

We had a big windstorm last night! Throughout the night we had Sirocco-like blasts of hot air totally unlike those Jane has become accustomed to. So much so, that I think we’ll take the patio chairs inside tonight, given Lurchios got blown from his balcony door onto the glass balustrade. Don’t tell our hosts, but he also forgot to Velcro a seat pad to his chair. Thankfully that was retrieved from to pool first thing, suffering from a mild bout of PTSD.

May as well get this out of the way. Todays morning “sit-rep” (situation report):

1. Water? It’s on sometimes and it’s off sometimes. Shlick happens.

2. Heat? Predicted 45+ degC so it’s going to be “hotter than a snakes ass in a wagon rut”, according to Adrian Cronauer.

This is likely going to be a short one, as tbh, when it’s 46C in the shade, there’s not a lot of energy left to do much more than sit/lie there. Even I have levels of mundane that I won’t stoop to write up!

Hit! Damn Hot! Hotter than a snakes ass in a wagon rut!

Eventually, after our now traditional brunch, Jane & I headed to the pool. Separately. I was around 30 minutes behind as I’d found a dodgy stream to watch the Yokohama F Marinos play Man City in a pre-season friendly. First thing I learned? They aren’t the sheep-wool Marinos [sic] – it’s pronounced any other way you like other than like Merino wool. We won 5-3, after Big Erl (Haaland) ended a 6 minute goal drought.

First thing to do on my pool arrival was to don the goggles and fish out all the stuff that had blown in overnight, which apart from that cushion had nowt to do with us. Leaves, pine-like needles, a paper takeaway bag with mushy receipts (- I’d have delivered it back if I could have read it!).

After which, it was time for a Takeshi Castle type challenge – grease up with suncream and see how long the mad Englishman can sit (lie) out in the (near) midday sun. Suffice to say it was longer than I expected, but not longer than around half an hour!

Pool dip required every 20-30 mins for sure!

5:30pm arrived unexpectedly quickly. So I bailed, not long after Lurchio surfaced & drank my last poolside beer, I found out later.

So here’s the tiny little compromise that’s needed at the mo’ – downstairs spare room (no water pressure upstairs), shower cubicle, wet oneself (not like that, unless you want to), wet body scrub, turn off water, scrub oneself, cross fingers and hope for at least a dribble of water from the shower head to rinse down! Close all doors & curtains and air-dry by lying naked, directly under an aircon unit until dry and cool.

Moving swiftly along so one doesn’t dwell on that mental image, we congregated at around 7pm & wandered down to Sandinos. Well, when it’s this hot, you may as well have a curry, right?!

We went there last year and the Indian & Thai food is superb, and the people running the business are so lovely.

(Which, btw is a trait here. Yes, I’m aware we have gone to places that have been ‘tried & tested’ by others, but to a person, I’ve found everyone I’ve met to be really nice & welcoming, and it feels genuine, not just ‘retail patter’).

We all ordered from the set menu, with me having the (world renowned) onion bhajis, followed by a chicken dupiaza, whilst Jane & Charlie went for butter chicken and a chicken Balti respectively.

Full as a bull, we ‘Hesap Lütfen’d’ & paid the bill in Sterling, leaving a decent enough tip, I hope. Such lovely people.

A hot and sticky walk back via our man at the corner shop, where I ordered a crate (20) of Bomonti and then Ninja Lurchio silently tipped up with 6 bottles of Corona.

I asked if it could be delivered. “Yes, of course!”. “Tomorrow?” I asked? “No! Give me 5 minutes!” he answered. He gave me a cold beer for the 5 minute walk home, and after paying, we set off home.

As we were unlocking the door, our beer was delivered.

He gave me the box of 20, which was now opened slightly. This is where you have to recalibrate. Bottles missing? Swaps for some crappy stuff? Tampering? Well yes, he tampered with the previously unopened box. By swapping 8 warm beers for 8 straight from the fridge. This fella is a legend. He knows his shtick!

And so, I finish todays blog with a cold beer in hand, and wish you all the best, if you’ve managed to stay awake through this one, and have got this far! Remember, your choice! I don’t offer compensations for loss of will to live!

Night night!

Chris

Day 5 – Off to Fethi Bey!

I started today with a nip back down to the corner shop to buy fresh bread. (We bough 15l of drinking water after being dropped off by the Taxsi, last night).

The fresh bread here is superb. We used to go camping in the Dordogne, and the pain & baguettes delivered each morning were lovely, but imho, this bread is better.

Brekky. The Ayran was a bit “different” to the last one – punchier on the soured scale.

Breakfast done, it was decision time. Two factors influencing our next move:

1. The water had gone off again in the early hours, but at least we were pretty well stocked up – the “if the water bottle doesn’t have a label on it, then assume it’s grey water and not drinkable” rules came back in force.

2. The most important factor – at midday, it was 43°C in the shade.

Decision made. We do nothing until mid afternoon. However, I struggled with doing nothing, so headed down to the pool where I came up with the best plan.

I got a towel, put the thin edge up to the ‘dry side’ of the pool grate. Put my phone, suncream and earbuds on the towel, then folded it back so that the majority was on the wet side of the grate. I then got in the water, wearing sunglasses & wide brimmed hat, dunked the hat thoroughly, before donning it, and then rested chin & arms on the side of the pool, with arms & shoulders fully covered by a cool, damp towel. I fell asleep it was that good!

I am actually under this hat and in the pool.

At around 3:15, I towelled down and headed upstairs, with the plan being to try the Dolmus (bus) down into Fethiye, and then get a water Taxi to Çalis Beach. I issued a 15 minute “it’s bus, boat, beer and scran evening. Be there, or stay” to Lurchio. He appeared as we were about to leave.

Arriving at the bus stop it only took a couple of minutes to jump on a Fethiye-bound bus…

“Ne kadar tutuyor? Uç?”, I asked (“How much? Three.” I think!). He laughed, and said “Sixty”. I’d like to think he appreciated my attempt, but I’m not sure. “Tash, curl a header in!”, I said as we got off. He laughed again, this time I’m sure sarcastically, but that could be my paranoia.

We wandered from the ‘Fethiye last Stop’ (where I’m hoping we get to change and head up to Saklikent Gorge one day), and meandered through the Old Town, along ‘Umbrella Street’, buying some bracelets for Lurchios mates ‘friend that is a girl but not a girlfriend’ and then headed seaward.

Reaching the harbour, we caught the 5:30pm Water taxi across to Çalis Beach, despite Lurchios protestations. On the way, I spotted a seal and a few jumping fish, leaping out of the sea. No turtles as yet though.

It’s about a half hour trip, pontoon to pontoon. And a very nice one! At the Çalis end, you meander up an estuary to the dock, with lots of birds (and when dusk, bats) to spot.

“Happy”, the Cabin Boy on the left of the “Black Pearl”.

We had a meander down the beach front, looking for somewhere to eat but Lurchios monstrous appetite seemed to have left him somewhere on the water for now.

I’m with the potential minority. Çalis…it’s not “ugh”, it’s not “amazing”, it’s not even “meh”, but it’s “ok”. I get why folk go and I’m glad we have, but that’s all. Nice beach. Seems quieter than Olu probably would be, but that’s a guess.

Strangely, he was able to force down two bottles of Corona with lime, at the bar we stopped at. Must be the lime that settled his stomach, I’m guessing.

About now, I had an Amazon Delivery alert. Special shout out to my wonderful neighbourino who put away my “special shoes”. Oh, and her hubby who changed the battery on our lounge PIR. Which, for those that know of our “lounge” must have been a feat of free-climbing! Amazed he survived!

Unisex, anti-slip, anti-static, hospitality grade, shoes that are resistant to vomit, faeces and other bodily fluids. I may explain this image later this week.

After that, Jane & I fancied some food, so irrespective of Lurchio Pugwash’s scurvy-ridden sea legs, we called in at a neighbouring seafront “Traditional Turkish” restaurant. The food was really good & lived up to the ‘traditional’ label as well.

Plenty hummus & bread, with a Turkish version of a mint raita and I had the vegetarian snails again (sautéed mushrooms), before Jane & I ordering the chicken “sheshlich” (Shish kebabs).

And Pugwash’s appetite stretched to ordering one of the more expensive things on the menu, the lamb, eating the meat, and leaving the rest. I won’t stoop to emojis, but you can imagine which one I’d have chosen.

As well as the searing heat even at sunset, there also seemed to be a big slice of karma floating around, which landed on Lurchio, as he was informed we were now getting on a water taxi back to Fethiye Harbour.

No emojis, no gifs, but the gif would be the “Kevin & Perry” Kevin gif when his parents told him anything he didn’t want to hear – you know…the head thrown back dramatically with choreographed slump of the shoulders. That one.

We got the 8:30pm back, which docked at Fethiye at 9pm. The next decision was easy. Go home & drag misery-guts with us.

On the Dolmus (60TLR for 3 again) out of Fethiye Centre, and at 9:30pm, the bus stops were showing that it’s 36°C. And sticky hot.

We hopped off at the bottom of our road, nipped in the corner shop for some actual Lurpak (only Allah knows how much that cost us, thankfully), some soft drinks and a couple of harder, cool ones.

Back at the apartment, I headed straight to the pool, wrote most of this guff and supped a beer, all whilst dangling in the pool. Don’t ask what was dangling. Just be aware we are not overlooked.

Cooled, I headed back upstairs, wrote the paragraph after this one and then called it a night.

Probably a slow one (no change there then) tomorrow, as it’s peaking at over 45°C apparently!

Scorchio, scorchio!

Peace & love, folks

Chris

Day 4 – The Floodgates Open!

Firstly, let me make sure that the recent lack of water is put into context. It’s been a minor inconvenience and hasn’t stopped us doing anything.

But, at 7:15am, when I heard the toilet cistern gurgle and begin filling, I was relieved (no pun intended). The moment it was full, I went around and flushed all toilets (we have 4!). They all then refilled, so whatever happened we had 2 half flushes per loo to deploy where required!

Right! Let’s move on from water now that the floodgates have opened, and find something else to obsess about. Oh, go on then, let’s make it about the heat…

It’s been 40°C here today for most of the day (11-6pm). That’s quite hot. We’ve been hotter though. A lot, lot hotter! We’ve been lucky enough to holiday in the US, and been to some of the worlds most amazing places. One of which (one of Jane & my favourites) is Death Valley, where we experienced 54 point something degrees Celsius at the “Devils Golfcourse” on the salt flats.

If you’ve read any earlier posts you may remember we booked to go to Fez Bars BBQ Night tonight, and that’s a good walk in this heat, or a £3 Taxi ride (much more likely) down to Hisaronu, so to be honest, there was no point going anywhere today. As I wrote at the back end of yesterdays post, there’s nothing negative about that – we’ve the pool, the bar, the views, the breeze, the privacy. It’s bloody brilliant here.

So that’s what we did! Hung around the pool, wondering if we will see Lurchio today until tea time, watching the Jays & doves fly down and take a cheeky, sneaky drink from the pool.

We didn’t see Lurchio until 5 minutes after we said we’d meet to walk down to the Taxsi. But hey, ho, in the meantime, we’d had nice showers so felt “scrubbed fresh”.

After a short wait for a cab, we headed down to the top end of Hisaronu, for a meander down to Fez Bar. I won’t ever not smile at some of the shop names, with “Jimmy Shoes” being one of my favourites.

Greeted wholesomely by the bar team, as always, we were seated facing where the live music would be performed. After a brief wait whilst others settled in, the BBQ was served. Really good “all you can eat” food, at a great price (a Tenner each). The chicken kebabs were really good as were the meatballs. I went tactical and avoided bread, chips etc on the first trip, and returned for seconds when polite to do so!

Just after 9pm, Emre Evren connected up his guitar, turned on his amp & played a few good sing-along songs. I knew he had hit his target audience because Lurchio shrank in on himself to get away.

At the first break, just after 10pm, a lad who I think was called Holly sang three covers and one song he had written that had been played on BBC Radio. “Privacy”, I think he called it. He was also very good – had a great vocal.

As Jane had now finished the dregs of tonight’s cocktail, a Strawberry Daiquiri, we decided it was time to head home before Jane ended up in a ditch or got lairy.

A short taxi ride back and that’s us done for today. Water is still on, albeit with a little air in the pipes (apparent when you use the ‘bidet’ function in the toilet – trust me, you notice!), we’ve full cisterns, and reserves are replenished should we need them.

Tomorrow is forecast to be in the early/mid 40s (43/44°C), so we’ll see what takes our fancy when we get up.

Night folks,

Chris

Day 3 – A Slow Day In Drytown

Hmm. You know I mentioned the water being off on Day 1? Well…

It was off again from yesterday evening, to the point where they had small bowser trucks pumping tanked water into some restaurants, and having now joined a Facebook group specifically about infrastructure and services (water, ellecy), it seems it affected businesses with them having to close later that evening.

Given our impression so far is that it’s a quieter season (almost like for like weeks), it can’t be blamed on tourist demand, as suggested on some posts. Others seem to be suggesting that there is a general shortage of water, which seems to be backed up by posts I’ve seen from Muski, the water company, who are proposing area-based schedules, so you can at least flush toilets, fill cisterns & store grey water in containers.

Anyway, as I was finishing up & uploading yesterdays blog, I thought “time for a nightcap” & went to the fridge to grab a cold beer. Seems I’m too slow, as Lurchio had nabbed the last one, and the second to last. Given he had had 2 Bomonti with the Chinese, and two Corona in Fez Bar, I suspect he’s been somewhat “dehydrated” today.

My sleep was my seemingly now-usual pattern of fast to sleep, but then a 5am-8am struggle, after which I crash out ands wake up dazed a couple of hours later!

Our plan was to go down to Oludeniz, at midday, then to one of the Blue Lagoon private beaches for mid-afternoon, and then have more of a look around than we did last year & grab something to eat.

I was late to ‘breakfast’, so much so that even Lurchio (who I suspect fell into a beer-induced slumber early on) was up & on his balcony scoffing the fresh bread that Jane had nipped to the corner shop for.

It was noticeably hotter this morning, with even the light breeze having the occasional hot blast feel to it. As such we decided that it was likely unbearable down on the beach, so we decided to stay at the apartment until mid-afternoon and then head into Fethiye for a stroll, a cold beer, and maybe a little ferry ride to Çalis.

I’d mentioned in a previous blog that the name of the city of Fethiye has some chunky history to it, and regionally, I wrote a bit about the Greco-Turkish war in 1919-1922 on Day 13 of last years blog.

It’s an ancient city, that was part of the Persian empire from as early as 500+ BC, and the Ottoman Empire until 1922, at which point the Turkish/Greek “switcheroo” (see link above) meant mass forced migrations, at which point it was known as Makri (“the long one”).

Prior to that, back in 1914, a Captain in the Ottoman Airforce, Mr Fethi Bey along with three relatives, decided it’d be a bit of a laugh to try to be the first to fly from Istanbul to Cairo, in a Bleriot airplane. Spoiler alert – they didn’t make it and crashed & died on 27 February 1914.

It’s not much of a challenge to figure out where they crashed and so in 1934, the city was renamed Fethiye in his honour!

As we all headed down to the pool, a new episode of 93:20Pod “Thirty Questions” (Tom) dropped, so that was next on our agenda. A deliberately eclectic mix of questions put to one member of the team, some deep & philosophical, some just as important, like best and worst flavours of crisps.

This prompted us to answer along, which was actually quite good fun. Debates over “has their been a perfect film*” and “the perfect Friday evening – food, drink and film”.

(*it’s “Star Wars: Rogue One”, and “The Shawshank Redemption” in case you’re wondering).

Around 5pm we headed back to the apartment to see if we could shower & freshen up for a trip to Fethi Beys resting place. Short answer? No. Still no water. On the Facebook group it seems the natives are getting restless. To the level that a neighbouring town/village had come together and began a protest march!

Given we couldn’t shower, and still had a layer of chlorine & water resistant suncream on, we decided a dolmus or Taxsi to Fethiye sounded a bit grim. So we changed tack again, and instead headed the 0.75 miles down the upper/old road to Karizma hoping they were serving. (It was warm!).

We were in luck. At 6:45pm we squeezed in as the last available table.

The food & service were superb. Starters of garlic mushrooms (I’m on a mushroom fetish at the mo’), some mini kebabs & the “Karizma Parcels” (filo triangle pasties filled with mince, cheese & herbs). Mains were Seabass, a beef kebab, and Lurchio chose a big fillet steak because he’s not paying the “Hesap” (bill). It looked bloody gorgeous mind and it seemed to cut like warm butter. Suffice to say all plates were emptied!

Oh, Jane once again hit the cocktails. I’m starting to get worried this may be a trend which I need to control/curb post-holiday!

A slow walk up the hill back to the apartment followed, despite my lazy protestations & moaning about my pair of knackered Achilles and grade 4 osteoarthritis in my knee. “Get on with it and close your fitness ring”, Jane replied. I hadn’t even noticed it was showing!

Anyway, we got back, but I didn’t even go in the apartment, instead heading to the pool, where I opened a cold one, stripped down to my undercrackers and sat with my legs in the pool whilst writing this. The joy of which, apart for it being cooling and relaxing was that I got to meet the bats who occasionally imitated 617 Squadron by “Dambustering” their way across the pool at low level before snaffling a midge and heading back, whilst dodging nightfighters. Some of that was not factually true.

It’s call to prayer time now, so I’ll be respectful, chill out and think good thoughts, whilst avoiding nodding off and ending up fully in the pool.

Going to be honest, what we do (or don’t do) will be dictated by water availability tomorrow. We’ve stockpiled grey water for flushing, and the swimming pool may well end up more of a bath, but hopefully something gets sorted soon.

That said, it’s an ‘inconvenience’ that’s all. If we end up staying around the apartment for two weeks, with our private pool & fully stocked bar, serving Bomonti at £1.20 per 500ml bottle, that doesn’t sound like a holiday I’d turn down!

Have a cracker folks (and yes, conscious that the UK weather is somewhat different to here!).

Stay safe, peace & love,

Chris

Day 2 – Nesting & Pool Bar upgrades

After posting yesterdays blog, I retired to bed, expecting a night of tossing, turning and meat-induced stomach “challenges”, but after perhaps a half of Bomonti more than advised, I slept really well.

In the early hours however, when people of a certain age are required to wake up and go for a wee, it became evident that the water supply had gone off. It happens occasionally here. And it’s a minor inconvenience. Turns out the pump up to the valley failed & Ova, His & Olu were all down. Ey well.

Fell properly asleep after that nature call, and next thing I’d missed my call to prayer and it was 10am (8am in real money) so not massively “late” but shows I’d make a terrible devout Muslim.

Jane & I headed downstairs & rustled up a “proper holiday breakfast”, my definition of which is as follows:

good coffee (none of that South American nonsense – must be from further east of Kolkata)
water (pref. carbonated)
local bread
something local that you’ve not had before (where possible)
local meats (where possible)
English crumbly cheese (requirement)
Warm & dry Outdoor seating (should not be a chore)
A decent view (where possible)

My “not had before” was the Ayram, a cold savory yogurt-based beverage. It’s very refreshing, and also something that didn’t get passed Jane’s “smell test”.

Lovely. Except for the Ayran, according to Jane.

I’ve got a feeling that, given Jane then got her crochet set out, this will be a day of little excitement. Sorry readers!

To try to spice this monologue up, I decided today would be the day to assist our host by removing a now-vacated birds nest that had been surreptitiously built on top of the boiler (situated on a secured, covered balcony).

What could possibly go wrong – me balancing on plastic outdoor chairs that would barely support my weight and girth*, flailing a broom handle around, whilst holding a cardboard box, lined with a bin bag. Tom cruise isn’t the only one to do all of his own stunts, you know.

As I’m a versatile chap, it seems I now need to add “removal of low level birds nests” to my LinkedIn profile. It went well, with only a minor spattering of avian flu on my face and hands.

Mission Possible accomplished, and a quick detox later, we headed down to the pool, where the first thing I did was load the pool bar fridge with a crate of Bomonti. Things here are getting even better!

So then, and yes it’s 35°C, we sat out lathered in Factor 50, listening to Desert Island Discs & Neil Tennant from’t Pet Shop Boys. It’s very good. Highly recommend a listen.

Whilst listening, we booked to go to the Fez Bars Friday Night BBQ, and they’ve asked, rightly, for a deposit. So, seems we’re going to have to head to Hisaronu later, pay our dues, and maybe have a bottle of Fredericks IPA or similar, whilst there – rude not to, right?

Eventually, around 5pm, with Desert Island Disks complete, and all caught up with 93:20 Podcast episodes, we headed back upstairs to freshen up before going out.

Except Jane needed to nip back because the barstool she’d been sitting on had an impressively detailed, anatomically accurate “arse-print” of hers on it, which seemed to consist of emulsified sweat & suncream. Thankfully, soap & water did the trick and it’s now passed as sub-clinically clean. Also, I never got a photo.

Showers (low water pressure, aside) & freshen up done, we headed down the hill to the Taxsi rank & headed to Hisaronu for food and a few drinks. And maybe a mooch around the “farkets” & shops.

As the saying goes “when in Rome…” and all that. But instead we headed to Shanghai Blues. Well, where else, given their extensive selection of 115 dishes, all served bitter, and portions that are treble the size of anywhere else at the moment. Great news was that they are all rent-free in the heads of non-Blues. A bit oily though. More seriously, we had a really nice meal and portions were huge.

Can’t not mention Lurchio talking about where he and his mates are looking to go on hols next year. Two weeks in Barcelona, apparently. Hope they win the lottery! Oh, or Dubai or Japan. Hope they win the Euromillions!

Meal over we headed down to Fez Bar for a beer and to pay off our pre-debts (deposit for Fridays BBQ), via “The Strip”, taking in Marks Spengler, Harvey Nicholes, Harrods, etc.

A quick chinwag with the owner, a couple of Bomontis (Corona with Lime for Lurchio) & a GBP settlement of the whole of our forthcoming BBQ – our choice of payment method.

Just on that, for those that may not know, the Turkish economy is crashing compared to EUR & GBP. It’s at a rate of change such that on the month between us changing GBP to TLR, we missed out on an extra converted £180. Rate went from 24 to the £, and is now at 34/35 to the £ & climbing! No wonder, they’d all rather have GBP!

Anyhow, we got a Taxsi back to our gaff, and on the way we’re told about the history (or at least the origin of the names) of Fethiye & Hisaronu. Going to keep you hanging in the air on that one, which is more that happened to the chap who is credited with the name of Fethiye!

On that likely poor, inappropriate & obtuse “joke”, I’m going to call it a day/night, so see you tomorrow if you’re really lacking in things to do!

Oh! Water’s off again. Not good after a big Chinese meal, in my experience. Glad we have the ‘Mergency Flush Bucket of water…

Cheers!

Chris

*that just for Ian, as he will now be giggling like a child, after use of the word ‘girth’.

Day 1 – That Journey a Have It’s Way

Well, after a quite Sunday evening, having dropped Toby off with our lovely neighbours and brewed a Helles Lager homebrew (that’ll slow ferment whilst away), we did the last minute pre-holiday chores (boiler off, water off, all that crap) and awaited our taxi.

So…having pre-booked via a well known local taxi firm, what to do when after being picked up in a somewhat disheveled vehicle that had “over 300,000 on the clock” as our driver proudly explained, and you hear the front suspension struts clunking as we did a 3-point turn, and we couldn’t get the seatbelts to work…

I looked it up on the DVLA website. Failed its last MOT. Back in April 2021..!

How have the “well known Taxi firm”not got checks in place that stop that happening? When we had company vans, I had the drivers fill out an online form about safety checks each month under my duty of care if for no other reason! Will report on my return, for sure.

We got to Terminal 1 & headed through to security where a good friend of mine now works. In a previous and somewhat inebriated state, we had discussed what he usually finds in hand luggage and has to check. Turns out it’s electronically controlled “intimate massage” items and a truckle of Edam. Not sure what said passenger had in mind on the flight, but anyway, each to their own.

I had said to my pal to keep an eye out for Lurchio, and if seen, pull to one side, allude to a search being required and present him with a dildo that would be alleged to have been found in his man-bag. Thankfully Mr A wasn’t around, so we missed that bit out.

Checks done, we headed off up to the bar that serves 7Brothers Pale Ale & had a bite to eat – fish finger butty, beef wrap, with a beer each, that kind of thing. That £58 kind of thing.

Boarded and with only a minor delay, we headed off up Runway 23Left, “V1, V2, Rotate” and then Jane waved England bye-bye as she always does.

After a very uneventful 4’ish hours, we landed at Dalaman, and whizzed through customs, to see our bags already on the carousel, and so headed iut to see Özgür of Blue Lagoon Transfers, who’s driver then took us another uneventful 55 minutes to our home for the next two weeks.

We did the “3 B’s” – boiler (on), beds (sorted & unpacked) & beers (from the local shop. Happy days.

Knackered, I went to bed at around 1am local (11pm Manc-time). And then spent most of the night awake! I really do wish I could turn my head off sometimes! I know I’m going to end up repeating some of the things I commented on in last years blog, but even as an agnostic, I do find something comforting about the call to prayer, particularly the pre-breakfast call.

Right! Action! Jane’s up, I’ve had coffee, we’re off meeting our logistical targets for the day – shopping for scran, snacks & drinks, getting a local data sim from “Mr Dongle”, book a table at Suat’s “Shiraz” restaurant & then head to the pool & pool bar.

A very hot walk down to “the big roundabout” at the top of Hisaronu & Mr Dongle first. Who wasn’t there!

So we had a traditional Turkish breakfast. Jane had a spinach, cheese, potato, leek & herb pancake, whilst I had the “Menemen”, a popular traditional dish that includes eggs, tomato, green peppers, and spices.

Sated, we nipped back, sorted the sim card & headed to the new and very much hyped Migros supermarket, which was pants, so we only got half of our intended items.

A Taksi back up the hill to the apartment, a mild panic with the door locks, and then a run down to our local Çis Market, where we used this delivery service to hoik the 24 bottles of Bomonti, coke, sprite ,”big water”, “little waters” up the hill to our gaff. All very civilised!

Which meant that we all (yes! Lurchio appears for the first time today) headed poolside. They sunbathed. I did some DIY & upgraded the Garsi Pool Bar. Managed to install the Champions League City/Inter flag over the bar reasonably well, imho!

Up the Oil-Moneyed, 115 Charges, Treble-Winning Blues!

Then I caved in, hit a metaphorical sleep-deprivation wall & headed to bed, when I crashed out for an hour or so, until woken by the sound of electronic chirping birds or a fire alarm. Now knowing it’s the doorbell, we did miss the delivery but that got sorted without further fuss.

Off to Shiraz for an early-ish tea at 6:30. As we sat, Suat vaguely recognised us, and linked it when we said where we were staying.

“Yes, please. Bomonti for me, Corona for the sulky one, and sex on the beach for my wife please”. As you do.

The food is amazing, and last year I’d promised myself that for our last night, I’d have the Megasarous T-Bone, which I did, but had medium rare. This time I had it med/well & it was definitely better for it.

We all had superb food, in big portions., so it was a “Hesap Lütfen”. Bill paid & tip left, we headed home to hit the meat-sweats up on our balcony.

And that, well that was Day 0 to Day 1 over! No idea what’s in store for tomorrow!

Cheers

Chris

Prologue: Here we go again!

For those reading this, thank you firstly. I hope there’s a modicum of interest/enjoyment spending the time reading my daily diatribe! For those back again…are you masochists!

We’re off to Ovaçik, thanks to good friends allowing us to use their apartment again. For Jane & I who do want to see new places, we’ve also found that once we find somewhere that we relax, we love to go back.

This year will be unique.

For those that don’t know, last Thursday I worked my last day at Airangel – a company I co-founded over 18 years ago, and that brought to an end 12,761 days without seeing a P45. I’ve had 35 years of continuous service for one reason or another.

It’s been a very strange experience for me with a constantly shifting emotional rollercoaster. It’s been my “life”. It’s affected so many aspects of my life over such a long time.

But now it’s time to take a deep breath, “decompress” and work out what to do next! Hence the uniqueness.

But first a holiday!

Due to Lurchio being at the end of a tough first year of A Levels (“very capable but must put more effort in”) we’re here a week or so later than we were last year.

And I suspect that means there’s going to be a recurring theme, with temperatures forecast of around 45°C at the weekend!

As usual, there will be an almost daily ramble about whatever comes to mind, as we explore this part of the world in a bit more detail this year. We have plans to visit new places, but are also looking forward to going back to places (for that, read restaurants) that we enjoyed the last time we were over the hill from Fethiye.

View from the balcony down towards Hisaronu & Oludeniz

I say “over the hill”, because Charlie & I, along with a big group of Manchester City fans were here a few weeks ago.

I’ll not bore you with that adventure, (and boy was it an adventure!) but may write a little blog if there’s a slow news day here in Ovaçik!

Catch you shortly after we set off and then experience our first day back in one of our happy places!

Cheers

Chris

Day 7 – Dealing with the Job(bie) in Hand

Today started with an unexpected knock on our door, which panicked me, as it made me think we’d not done something we are supposed to – there are a few requests from the Cottage owner for today & before we vacate tomorrow morning.

Turns out it was just the Gardener, letting us know they’d be making a racket for a while. All fine with us.

And he made good time because by 11am it was hissing down. The first proper rain we’ve seen during a week in Pembrokeshire. That’s a rare event for us! On that basis, we definitely can’t complain.

May just make this a day at the cottage at this rate, which is absolutely fine by Jane & I. So on that basis, I used up some of the remaining fridge supplies by making a 3-egg, cheese & onion omelette for brunch.

The rain continued through until around 3pm, after which it eased off, leaving it very warm & humid. Moist, even.

When Jane spoke with Grain (in St. Davids) yesterday morning, trying to book for this evening, they did suggest that early on there was a chance of a walk-in, so we though we’d give it a go.

So around 3:45 we set off up to St Davids, which is around 45 minutes drive. We parked up in the car park & managed to blag a ticket (offered one from a day-parker that was leaving earlier than planned).

From this point on, Im not sure how our visit could have gone worse, tbh, though. St Davids was, as you would expect, very busy, with lots of tourists ambling between all of the lovely shops.

We walked up and around the high street towards where we thought Grain was. It was at this point that poor old Toby has a poonami attack! Out of the blue, he suddenly stopped and “dog gravy” ran in a stream like fashion from his arse. It was horrific, and didn’t seem to want to stop!

What a bloody nightmare! Jane bent over, scraping what she could from the pavement with poo bags as gloves, which inevitably split, leaving her with diarrhoea-covered hands.

I stood over the disaster zone to stop folk walking through it. “Watch out”, said a man behind me, as his 5 year old kid that wasn’t watching where she was going, tripped over my foot, stepped in the crap, and then fell to the shit-covered pavement on her hands and knees! Crying, the mother the glared at me, pointing out that she’d also holed her leggings. Knees and hands now also covered in crap!

As Jane finished the clean as best she should, I left the scene & nipped into the tourist info centre opposite, and the wonderful ladies in there loaned me a 2l jug, and filled it with water. I ran back across, and rinsed the pavement as best as we could. Another refill and the pavement was safe again at last.

By then, the lady had her daughter on her kneee, sat on a bench, comforting her. I assume after cleaning her hands, leggings and shoes?!

Back to Jane, who we then led to the public toilet so she could wash her hands and Tobys arse. What a bloody nightmare!

Once the chaos subsided and our party was turd-free, we headed to Grain, only to be told they weren’t taking walk-ins. I asked if we could sit outside on one of the many empty benches & order a drink given we were there, only to be told “no”! Strange approach for sure.

It was the last straw, and we decided we’d had enough of St Davids for today! We headed back south and called in at the Victoria Inn Brewpub (where I’d been earlier in the week).

Thankfully we snagged the last table and the last food order. One ‘Mosaic’ 4.5% IPA & a ‘Black Scar’ 5.4% BIPA later, washing down their ‘Fine & Dandy’ Beer-battered fish & chips and we set off back to the cottage to pack.

Bins out, bags packed, fridge contents ready to be put in the camper fridge for the journey home.

Plan tomorrow is be out of here by 10am, and then to press on tomorrow and try to get back before the rush hour starts affecting traffic. No plans other than than for tomorrow.

Pretty much the end of our hols on that basis, so thanks for reading if your did, and don’t worry if you didn’t, as my ramblings are as much for me as anyone.

See you next time folks, I’m signing off for this hols.

Chris x

Day 6 – Under an Iron Sky

We’ve realised we’re not used to coming away in peak season. What’s prompted that realisation is us now starting the day by trying to book somewhere for tea, and then heading in that direction if achieved.

Not going well again at the start of today with attempted bookings at:

The Brewery Inn, Cosheston – voicemail message “we are booked up all week”

Milton Brewery Inn, Milton – closed because the building is falling down around us (source: https://www.westerntelegraph.co.uk/news/19910918.milton-brewery-closes-alleging-buildings-falling/)

Grain, St David’s – “sorry fully booked for tonight & tomorrow. Maybe risk a walk in earlier on?”

We’ve eventually managed to book a table at the St Govans Inn, in Bosherston), so that’s where we’ll head today! No bad thing, as that means Stack Rocks, the Lilly Ponds, puffin & seal potential.

After a long wait for Romeo to come down from his Juliette Balcony, we eventually got going and headed south east via Pembroke Dock, but give the fuel light had com on we dreaded having to stick diesel in the van. It’s got a very big tank, so with fuel prices as they’ve been it can be a £145 fill-up.

Spotting a Texaco, I reluctantly turned in, expecting £1.90+ litre , but was delighted to see £1.76. Happy days, so I did fill to the brim, avoiding the need to stop until we get home on Friday evening.

Off the main roads, and down the wiggly-windies again, until we reached the tank crossing & headed across the Castlemartin Firing Range. Over the years we’ve parked up and watch tank & infantry exercises, with the best being the firing of live shells out into the sea. With a good pair of binocs & a keen eye, you can see them hit the sea on a clear day.

At the end of the road, literally, is the Stack Rocks car park, where we stopped, and the key to the Van finally snapped.

It’s a design fault on the flip-out key fobs and is a PITA (pain in the arse) to sort. The Amazon or EBay copies have differing locking pin sizes, so for our model it requires ‘fettling’. I can get it to work in the short term, but we do have a spare back at the cottage, if needed.

Anyway, we sorted that and then headed out with Captain Miserable in tow, heading for the sheer, vertical cliffs, needles & arches of Stack Rocks.

I think the last time we were here was with Jane’s Dad, my Mum & Dad & my Auntie & Uncle, Judith & Frank. Charlie was a toddler, and we’ve a raft of embarrassing photos of him, ready for when required. What I will divulgeHe used to have a ‘poo-light’ – a birthmark on his scalp that ‘lit up’ when he’d filled or was filling his nappy. Quite a handy feature at the time, tbh.

My Dad, bless him. He was probably at his happiest when with his eponymously-named Grandson, as brief as that was.

The coastline here is once again different to other areas with another change in the geology. The Carboniferous Limestone is being worn away by the crashing waves, meaning cracks appear, they can then join either side to create an arch (the Green Bridge of Wales being the nearest example from the car park), the top of which eventually collapses to leave the ‘stack’ – a pillar of rock.

I hope Mr Smith, my ‘O’ Level geography teacher would be proud of me. He definitely encouraged my love of physical geography (you can stick yer human geog up you’re arse, though), with it’s mohorovic discontinuities, thalwegs and dry adiabatic lapse rates!

Credit: Jane (otherwise I risk castration).

We had a good old wander around the coastline, adding more Choughs, Razorbills, Fulmars, Guillemots, Black Back & Herring Gulls & Cormorants to our spotted list, as they swooped around the cliff faces.

And on top of that we once again saw loads of seals. We’re pretty sure they are grey seals, which are some of the rarer species in Northern European seas, with their pups being born right about now, accounting for white ones we’ve seen – as they turn mottled grey after a month.

Having had our fill of vertigo for the day, we decided to head over to Broadhaven 2 (South), but as we parked up, we saw our first raindrops of the holiday, although they were light and lasted about 5 minutes. So instead we had a moral argument about paying for a parking ticket.

My view was shouted down on the basis that a) the machine didn’t take cards; b) we didn’t have £3 in change; c) there wasn’t enough internet connection to pay using the app; and d) we were parked for about 15 minutes maximum.

On that basis, I still protested however as we are using facilities run by the National Trust and the payment helps other sites not just covering our limited use of the car park. As such, I refused to stay any longer and we headed back towards St Govans where we were due to eat.

Although the table was only booked for 6pm, and at the point we parked up it was 5:30, we decided to go in and eat earlier and/or have a pint.

Stepping out of the van onto the verge next to the tea shop & garden, I managed to step in some dogshit. Annoyingly there was plenty to step on. As dog owners ourselves, we cannot understand how people don’t pick up their own dogs turds. It’s disgusting. Good news was that my shoe soles were turd-friendly and it was an easy clean up, thankfully.

It turned out that the pub only started taking food orders at 6pm, and it also seemed that other diners knew that, so we’re getting orders ready and we’re limbering up ready for the 6pm sprint to the ordering terminal. I wound up my knee spring, stretched my various sections of Achilles & readied myself.

Delighted to say, I came second in the bullrush & our orders soon arrived from the kitchen. Jane made the best decision having the Cawl, with cheese & bread. I wish I’d copied her as it looked & smelled superb, and having tasted it later, it was a great choice.

Cawl, if you’re not familiar is a cross between a soup & a stew, classically made from pheasant meat, but typically now chicken and/or lamb, with the expected base veg (potatoes, carrots, leeks, onion, parsnip), but the twist being you then add mature Caerphilly cheese to the bowl as it’s served. Bloody lovely!

Food eaten, and with Captain Miserable reaching new heights (due to a complete lack of internet/working Wifi), we paid up, dodged the dog-crap, and then headed “home”.

Only to spot that Romeo, whilst left alone last night, must have spilled some of his pizza when taking it out of the top oven, and it’s dribbled into the door of the bottom oven. Between the outer glass and one of the inner panels.

So I sit here having stripped down an oven door, cleaned it, then reassembled it. I’m having a beer. It’s deserved!

Night folks,

Chris

Day 5 – The Best of People

We were knackered again today! A nice stroll, fresh air, good food, a beer or two and wham! Knackered.

Working back from fixed time-points, we wanted to be at Betty & David’s farm for 4pm, with a meal booked 15 minutes away for 7pm.

Unsurprisingly, Romeo wasn’t having any of it and is staying here in his self-enforced hormone prison that is his room. As such, we showed him how to oven cook a frozen pizza & garlic bread without burning the cottage down and planned the rest of our day.

We decided to head back to Lobster & Môr, bag ourselves some fancy crustaceous lunch & head to Solva for a mooch and a beach stroll.

Waving goodbye to the Grunt, we set off up the coast to Broadhaven 1, then the jump over to Nolton, and then on towards Newgale. At least today, we could head north from Nolton. Two days ago the road was blocked off due to the wildfires.

Holy cow! We drove down the road to be greeted by the devastation that the fires left behind.

The scorched earth spread over large areas, and had (I presume) been controlled so well that it had left pockets of I damaged green, just a few metres from a cottage, and a farm, and further on, a static caravan park.

We were passed by a fire engine with its blues on, which I suspect was heading back to something we’d seen that was still smouldering.

Out the other side of the carnage, we hopped over the last headland before dropping down into Solva, to begin the Car Park dance – that one that’s a lot like musical chairs, where you circle an asset but don’t know when it’s becoming available.

We were really lucky and managed to get a space on lap 3. So having parked up and paid, we took out crustacean bag of goodies over to the estuary to eat alfresco.

It was too windy and that wind had a slight bite to it, so that plan was soon abandoned and we retired to our Camper & split the Lobster Roll in two & took half the crab sandwich each. Oh, my they were lovely!

Lunch over, we had a stroll through the very small village, mooched through the shop “Window On Wales”, and then headed off down the estuary towards the sea, letting Toby have a good run on the sand.

We sat a short while at the tide line, but to be honest, it was a tad too windy & again had that unfamiliar cool bite to it.

Walking round the corner of the estuary, I’d been listening to the latest 93:20 podcast, so phone was on full volume. Jane stopped and bent down to pick something up and my phone rang – “Jane Airey (Mobile) calling” it said. I told Jane she was ringing me.

I answered it. And a female voice said “Hi”. I began a conversation with “Hi” and Jane haha’d me for dicking about. Until I thanked “Hi” and told her Jane was wearing a pink hoody, and would be back to the tide line in a mo, and thank you for letting us know she’d left her phone behind. Oops!

Phone retrieved, we walked back to the van, I donned a pair of jeans, and we set off towards Puncheston using Waze satnav to guide us. Part way across the farmers field that it sent us on to, we realised we were in too deep with the route that we had no choice but to plough on (farming pun intended).

Eventually we hit tarmac but only after driving through a farm yard. Delayed slightly, I pressed on. We crossed the A40 and headed towards Letterston only to get to a point in the single track road where a Telehandler had broken down making this road impassable.

A 100-point turn later and I set off back the A40 north, and took our usual route in, with no further tribulations.

It was fantastic meeting up with Betty & David, who’ve not changed a bit in the decade since Jane & I last saw them. In conversation we also realised it was Jane’s 50th (!) anniversary of coming to stay with them.

Even better that that we got a surprise visit from Lisa & the two girls, and their lovely Cockerpoo, Coco, followed by the very-much unexpected arrival of Betty & David’s hard-working son, Pete. Fantastic!

Not going to say too much more, but after a good old chat over a cup of tea & some bara brith, we had a fabulous meal out at the community owned Tafarn Sinc, which also happens to be the highest licensed pub in Pembrokeshire. More importantly, the locally sourced food was superb. I had a 10oz sirloin medium rare, which was one of the tastiest & best-cooked steaks I’ve had in years.

Conversation and locally-brewed cask ale flowed, meaning Jane did the taxiing back to the farm, where we said our “goodbyes for now”, as we all knew 10 years was too long, and then headed off back through the wiggly-windies to Little Haven.

What a fabulous day! The company making it so!

Night, night!

Chris