Day 7 – The Dust Settles…

Literally! We had another sirocco storm last night, which temporarily took out the leccy. I know that because it switched the aircon off and I woke drenched in sweat!

Getting up this morn, we were greeted by the sight or rather the lack of, of the top of the Babadag Mountain, which is partially obscured by haze. As is the bottom of the normally crystal clear swimming pool. I think it must have been a dust storm as well last night.

They’ve had the Babadag cable car closed for the last few days due to the high winds, and there are definitely no signs of anyone paragliding at present. You’d have to be even more bonkers than normal to give that a go at present, as we suspect anyone trying to launch would immediately find themselves on the back side of the mountain heading down towards Antalya at a rapid rate of knots.

At midday, it was a marginally cooler 38C, with todays temps peaking at 40C by mid afternoon. Still no sign of water, but reserves still reasonable so no real impact again.

Ooof.

It does make you realise how much water you can avoid using with a little planning & thought. Storing & then using grey water for flushing, being one of the more obvious ones, put the plug in when you shower & save that for the loo, or dipping toothpaste-laden toothbrush into a small cup of drinking water, and then using that to rinse, rather than being one of those weirdos that has the tap running for the whole time teeth are being cleaned?!

Todays brunch selection was a variety classic. “Ham-like slices”, vine-ripened tomato, Wensleydale cheese & lovely bread. Seven possible classic sandwich topping combinations on one plate!

Decent combo of flexible ingredients !

Just before we headed down to the pool, I clocked the fellas working on the development that’s going on down the hill from us. I believe there’s a rule that limits construction work when it’s ‘tourist season’, but these lads are like the SAS of construction. They sneak in, work tirelessly and relentlessly, almost invisibly, and put a shift in. Good grief, they put a shift in! Bravo, fellas! Bravo!

In the following photo, the grey house on the right looked like the house on the left on Friday afternoon. It’s now fully ‘first coat’ rendered on all sides. Workforce? Two fellas on the scaffolding, one mixing & then throwing the wet mix up to his mate, who then applied it to the brickwork. Heavy going, right? Especially as it’s been 40-46C and no cooler than 34C whilst they’ve been working!

Amazing work, bt it that ridge tiling could do with filling in…

Jane & I headed to the pool, where we both had a cooling dip, but then split – Jane sunbathing, and me swimming around and clearing the more obvious detritus from the pool.

Done, and then the same pattern as yesterday, despite the big drop-off in temps today (only 40C at this point), with 20/30 mins of lying in the sun, then a dip required.

Definitely some dust in the air by the way. Both Jane & I had sniffles and sneezes in the earlier part of the day, but that tailed off as the day wore on and it was visibly clearer up the top of Babadag by this point. And I said that, after what those builders are up to! What a wuss!

Back up to the apartment, and military planning of the low, but at least existent flow of water. Jane plus long hair first. Then Lurchio, so he has time to do his hair. Then the hairless one.

All washed & fresh, we did ‘the dance’. You know, the one that goes “what we doing then? What does anyone fancy?”. That’s then followed by a five minute shout out to places we could go, but all without commitment. That’s followed by a repeat of the first question. Then eventually we go with the initially suggested placez. All good, just after the ‘dance’. I’m a short dancer the older I get – “here’s what I want to do, which I think you will all like”.

We dolmused (bussed) it down into Hisaronu and walked down to Hidden Gem Restaurant. It’s top notch food (again, see last years blog for details) with really welcoming service.

Had a bit of a chinwag with the fella who seemed to be the owner, or al least in charge. “Yes, quieter. But picking up. Just worried about fires now, as if we had one here, well…”. Not quite comic timing, but as that sentence ended a fire truck sirened its way past the end of the street.

Moving on! Jane got all “Lairy Airey” again with her one solitary drink of the evening, a frozen strawberry daiquiri (seemingly her version of mothers ruin). I’d love to tell you the angle is making it look bigger/her smaller, but it did seem to be twice the size of her head…

Good grief, that looks gorgeous…

Lurchio hit the Corona again, and I risked the least bad choice and had Efes Pilsner, which I may live to regret. I’ve a feeling they use half brewers yeast and half laxative in the brewing process.

Food-wise, it was easy. “Ballon bread and mixed mezze to start and uç (as in rabbit hutch but I only thought that and didn’t say it out loud), lamb chop, please”.

What a cracking spread! The mezze was lovely (I do like a bit of non-pickled beetroot) and the lamb chops were divine!

No apologies for food pictures incoming:

‘Mazing Mezze
Chops and chips..heaven!

Cooked & seasoned perfectly, in my humble…

Even the ‘chips’ were more like roast potatoes, which is a good thing. Jane wasn’t overly impressed by her sprout-biased selection of veg, but we worked around that & I did the decent thing and ate a few.

Bill paid, we headed back towards the top end where the dolmas & taxi rank is. Which just so happens to be next to a chemist.

What to do…pay £14 for a 2 month supply of Lisinopril (I’m old, fat and as such have high blood pressure) back home or buy a 6 month supply of the same for 175Tlr – divide that by 34 to see the Sterling price.

Drug dealing over, we headed home on the dolmus. 45Tl (£1.32 for 3) later we headed back up the hill & settled in on the balcony.

Well, we tried! Holy moley! The winds had picked up and boy was it exciting out there! The chairs (and anything else loose) we’re taken in! Big gusts that rattled the glass panes, and the scaffolding on the houses on the site below!

And so there ended todays instalment of nonsense!

Much love to the berks reading this!

Chris

X

Day 6 – Goood Morning Vietnam!

Well, another day where we only end up surfacing at late morning. And even that is only because we want to give the aircon units a bit of respite!

We had a big windstorm last night! Throughout the night we had Sirocco-like blasts of hot air totally unlike those Jane has become accustomed to. So much so, that I think we’ll take the patio chairs inside tonight, given Lurchios got blown from his balcony door onto the glass balustrade. Don’t tell our hosts, but he also forgot to Velcro a seat pad to his chair. Thankfully that was retrieved from to pool first thing, suffering from a mild bout of PTSD.

May as well get this out of the way. Todays morning “sit-rep” (situation report):

1. Water? It’s on sometimes and it’s off sometimes. Shlick happens.

2. Heat? Predicted 45+ degC so it’s going to be “hotter than a snakes ass in a wagon rut”, according to Adrian Cronauer.

This is likely going to be a short one, as tbh, when it’s 46C in the shade, there’s not a lot of energy left to do much more than sit/lie there. Even I have levels of mundane that I won’t stoop to write up!

Hit! Damn Hot! Hotter than a snakes ass in a wagon rut!

Eventually, after our now traditional brunch, Jane & I headed to the pool. Separately. I was around 30 minutes behind as I’d found a dodgy stream to watch the Yokohama F Marinos play Man City in a pre-season friendly. First thing I learned? They aren’t the sheep-wool Marinos [sic] – it’s pronounced any other way you like other than like Merino wool. We won 5-3, after Big Erl (Haaland) ended a 6 minute goal drought.

First thing to do on my pool arrival was to don the goggles and fish out all the stuff that had blown in overnight, which apart from that cushion had nowt to do with us. Leaves, pine-like needles, a paper takeaway bag with mushy receipts (- I’d have delivered it back if I could have read it!).

After which, it was time for a Takeshi Castle type challenge – grease up with suncream and see how long the mad Englishman can sit (lie) out in the (near) midday sun. Suffice to say it was longer than I expected, but not longer than around half an hour!

Pool dip required every 20-30 mins for sure!

5:30pm arrived unexpectedly quickly. So I bailed, not long after Lurchio surfaced & drank my last poolside beer, I found out later.

So here’s the tiny little compromise that’s needed at the mo’ – downstairs spare room (no water pressure upstairs), shower cubicle, wet oneself (not like that, unless you want to), wet body scrub, turn off water, scrub oneself, cross fingers and hope for at least a dribble of water from the shower head to rinse down! Close all doors & curtains and air-dry by lying naked, directly under an aircon unit until dry and cool.

Moving swiftly along so one doesn’t dwell on that mental image, we congregated at around 7pm & wandered down to Sandinos. Well, when it’s this hot, you may as well have a curry, right?!

We went there last year and the Indian & Thai food is superb, and the people running the business are so lovely.

(Which, btw is a trait here. Yes, I’m aware we have gone to places that have been ‘tried & tested’ by others, but to a person, I’ve found everyone I’ve met to be really nice & welcoming, and it feels genuine, not just ‘retail patter’).

We all ordered from the set menu, with me having the (world renowned) onion bhajis, followed by a chicken dupiaza, whilst Jane & Charlie went for butter chicken and a chicken Balti respectively.

“World beating onion bhajis”

Full as a bull, we ‘Hesap Lütfen’d’ & paid the bill in Sterling, leaving a decent enough tip, I hope. Such lovely people.

A hot and sticky walk back via our man at the corner shop, where I ordered a crate (20) of Bomonti and then Ninja Lurchio silently tipped up with 6 bottles of Corona.

I asked if it could be delivered. “Yes, of course!”. “Tomorrow?” I asked? “No! Give me 5 minutes!” he answered. He gave me a cold beer for the 5 minute walk home, and after paying, we set off home.

As we were unlocking the door, our beer was delivered.

He gave me the box of 20, which was now opened slightly. This is where you have to recalibrate. Bottles missing? Swaps for some crappy stuff? Tampering? Well yes, he tampered with the previously unopened box. By swapping 8 warm beers for 8 straight from the fridge. This fella is a legend. He knows his shtick!

Bomonti Fitresiz

And so, I finish todays blog with a cold beer in hand, and wish you all the best, if you’ve managed to stay awake through this one, and have got this far! Remember, your choice! I don’t offer compensations for loss of will to live!

Night night!

Chris

x

Day 5 – Off to Fethi Bey!

I started today with a nip back down to the corner shop to buy fresh bread. (We bough 15l of drinking water after being dropped off by the Taxsi, last night).

The fresh bread here is superb. We used to go camping in the Dordogne, and the pain & baguettes delivered each morning were lovely, but imho, this bread is better.

Brekky. The Ayran was a bit “different” to the last one – punchier on the soured scale.

Breakfast done, it was decision time. Two factors influencing our next move:

1. The water had gone off again in the early hours, but at least we were pretty well stocked up – the “if the water bottle doesn’t have a label on it, then assume it’s grey water and not drinkable” rules came back in force.

2. The most important factor – at midday, it was 43°C in the shade.

Decision made. We do nothing until mid afternoon. However, I struggled with doing nothing, so headed down to the pool where I came up with the best plan.

I got a towel, put the thin edge up to the ‘dry side’ of the pool grate. Put my phone, suncream and earbuds on the towel, then folded it back so that the majority was on the wet side of the grate. I then got in the water, wearing sunglasses & wide brimmed hat, dunked the hat thoroughly, before donning it, and then rested chin & arms on the side of the pool, with arms & shoulders fully covered by a cool, damp towel. I fell asleep it was that good!

I am actually under this hat and in the pool.

At around 3:15, I towelled down and headed upstairs, with the plan being to try the Dolmus (bus) down into Fethiye, and then get a water Taxi to Çalis Beach. I issued a 15 minute “it’s bus, boat, beer and scran evening. Be there, or stay” to Lurchio. He appeared as we were about to leave.

Arriving at the bus stop it only took a couple of minutes to jump on a Fethiye-bound bus…

“Ne kadar tutuyor? Uç?”, I asked (“How much? Three.” I think!). He laughed, and said “Sixty”. I’d like to think he appreciated my attempt, but I’m not sure. “Tash, curl a header in!”, I said as we got off. He laughed again, this time I’m sure sarcastically, but that could be my paranoia.

We wandered from the ‘Fethiye last Stop’ (where I’m hoping we get to change and head up to Saklikent Gorge one day), and meandered through the Old Town, along ‘Umbrella Street’, buying some bracelets for Lurchios mates ‘friend that is a girl but not a girlfriend’ and then headed seaward.

Guess the name of the street…

Reaching the harbour, we caught the 5:30pm Water taxi across to Çalis Beach, despite Lurchios protestations. On the way, I spotted a seal and a few jumping fish, leaping out of the sea. No turtles as yet though.

It’s about a half hour trip, pontoon to pontoon. And a very nice one! At the Çalis end, you meander up an estuary to the dock, with lots of birds (and when dusk, bats) to spot.

“Happy”, the Cabin Boy on the left of the “Black Pearl”.

We had a meander down the beach front, looking for somewhere to eat but Lurchios monstrous appetite seemed to have left him somewhere on the water for now.

I’m with the potential minority. Çalis…it’s not “ugh”, it’s not “amazing”, it’s not even “meh”, but it’s “ok”. I get why folk go and I’m glad we have, but that’s all. Nice beach. Seems quieter than Olu probably would be, but that’s a guess.

Çalis Beach

Strangely, he was able to force down two bottles of Corona with lime, at the bar we stopped at. Must be the lime that settled his stomach, I’m guessing.

About now, I had an Amazon Delivery alert. Special shout out to my wonderful neighbourino who put away my “special shoes”. Oh, and her hubby who changed the battery on our lounge PIR. Which, for those that know of our “lounge” must have been a feat of free-climbing! Amazed he survived!

Unisex, anti-slip, anti-static, hospitality grade, shoes that are resistant to vomit, faeces and other bodily fluids. I may explain this image later this week.

After that, Jane & I fancied some food, so irrespective of Lurchio Pugwash’s scurvy-ridden sea legs, we called in at a neighbouring seafront “Traditional Turkish” restaurant. The food was really good & lived up to the ‘traditional’ label as well.

Plenty hummus & bread, with a Turkish version of a mint raita and I had the vegetarian snails again (sautéed mushrooms), before Jane & I ordering the chicken “sheshlich” (Shish kebabs).

And Pugwash’s appetite stretched to ordering one of the more expensive things on the menu, the lamb, eating the meat, and leaving the rest. I won’t stoop to emojis, but you can imagine which one I’d have chosen.

As well as the searing heat even at sunset, there also seemed to be a big slice of karma floating around, which landed on Lurchio, as he was informed we were now getting on a water taxi back to Fethiye Harbour.

No emojis, no gifs, but the gif would be the “Kevin & Perry” Kevin gif when his parents told him anything he didn’t want to hear – you know…the head thrown back dramatically with choreographed slump of the shoulders. That one.

We got the 8:30pm back, which docked at Fethiye at 9pm. The next decision was easy. Go home & drag misery-guts with us.

On the Dolmus (60TLR for 3 again) out of Fethiye Centre, and at 9:30pm, the bus stops were showing that it’s 36°C. And sticky hot.

We hopped off at the bottom of our road, nipped in the corner shop for some actual Lurpak (only Allah knows how much that cost us, thankfully), some soft drinks and a couple of harder, cool ones.

Sunset over Çalis Beach.

Back at the apartment, I headed straight to the pool, wrote most of this guff and supped a beer, all whilst dangling in the pool. Don’t ask what was dangling. Just be aware we are not overlooked.

Cooled, I headed back upstairs, wrote the paragraph after this one and then called it a night.

Probably a slow one (no change there then) tomorrow, as it’s peaking at over 45°C apparently!

Scorchio, scorchio!

Peace & love, folks

Chris

X

Day 4 – The Floodgates Open!

Firstly, let me make sure that the recent lack of water is put into context. It’s been a minor inconvenience and hasn’t stopped us doing anything.

But, at 7:15am, when I heard the toilet cistern gurgle and begin filling, I was relieved (no pun intended). The moment it was full, I went around and flushed all toilets (we have 4!). They all then refilled, so whatever happened we had 2 half flushes per loo to deploy where required!

Right! Let’s move on from water now that the floodgates have opened, and find something else to obsess about. Oh, go on then, let’s make it about the heat…

It’s been 40°C here today for most of the day (11-6pm). That’s quite hot. We’ve been hotter though. A lot, lot hotter! We’ve been lucky enough to holiday in the US, and been to some of the worlds most amazing places. One of which (one of Jane & my favourites) is Death Valley, where we experienced 54 point something degrees Celsius at the “Devils Golfcourse” on the salt flats.

If you’ve read any earlier posts you may remember we booked to go to Fez Bars BBQ Night tonight, and that’s a good walk in this heat, or a £3 Taxi ride (much more likely) down to Hisaronu, so to be honest, there was no point going anywhere today. As I wrote at the back end of yesterdays post, there’s nothing negative about that – we’ve the pool, the bar, the views, the breeze, the privacy. It’s bloody brilliant here.

So that’s what we did! Hung around the pool, wondering if we will see Lurchio today until tea time, watching the Jays & doves fly down and take a cheeky, sneaky drink from the pool.

Poolside from the Bar

We didn’t see Lurchio until 5 minutes after we said we’d meet to walk down to the Taxsi. But hey, ho, in the meantime, we’d had nice showers so felt “scrubbed fresh”.

After a short wait for a cab, we headed down to the top end of Hisaronu, for a meander down to Fez Bar. I won’t ever not smile at some of the shop names, with “Jimmy Shoes” being one of my favourites.

Legendary!

Greeted wholesomely by the bar team, as always, we were seated facing where the live music would be performed. After a brief wait whilst others settled in, the BBQ was served. Really good “all you can eat” food, at a great price (a Tenner each). The chicken kebabs were really good as were the meatballs. I went tactical and avoided bread, chips etc on the first trip, and returned for seconds when polite to do so!

Just after 9pm, Emre Evren connected up his guitar, turned on his amp & played a few good sing-along songs. I knew he had hit his target audience because Lurchio shrank in on himself to get away.

Emre “Wonderwall” Evren

At the first break, just after 10pm, a lad who I think was called Holly sang three covers and one song he had written that had been played on BBC Radio. “Privacy”, I think he called it. He was also very good – had a great vocal.

“Holly”

As Jane had now finished the dregs of tonight’s cocktail, a Strawberry Daiquiri, we decided it was time to head home before Jane ended up in a ditch or got lairy.

Lairy Airey

A short taxi ride back and that’s us done for today. Water is still on, albeit with a little air in the pipes (apparent when you use the ‘bidet’ function in the toilet – trust me, you notice!), we’ve full cisterns, and reserves are replenished should we need them.

Tomorrow is forecast to be in the early/mid 40s (43/44°C), so we’ll see what takes our fancy when we get up.

Night folks,

Chris

X

Day 3 – A Slow Day In Drytown

Hmm. You know I mentioned the water being off on Day 1? Well…

It was off again from yesterday evening, to the point where they had small bowser trucks pumping tanked water into some restaurants, and having now joined a Facebook group specifically about infrastructure and services (water, ellecy), it seems it affected businesses with them having to close later that evening.

Given our impression so far is that it’s a quieter season (almost like for like weeks), it can’t be blamed on tourist demand, as suggested on some posts. Others seem to be suggesting that there is a general shortage of water, which seems to be backed up by posts I’ve seen from Muski, the water company, who are proposing area-based schedules, so you can at least flush toilets, fill cisterns & store grey water in containers.

Anyway, as I was finishing up & uploading yesterdays blog, I thought “time for a nightcap” & went to the fridge to grab a cold beer. Seems I’m too slow, as Lurchio had nabbed the last one, and the second to last. Given he had had 2 Bomonti with the Chinese, and two Corona in Fez Bar, I suspect he’s been somewhat “dehydrated” today.

My sleep was my seemingly now-usual pattern of fast to sleep, but then a 5am-8am struggle, after which I crash out ands wake up dazed a couple of hours later!

Our plan was to go down to Oludeniz, at midday, then to one of the Blue Lagoon private beaches for mid-afternoon, and then have more of a look around than we did last year & grab something to eat.

I was late to ‘breakfast’, so much so that even Lurchio (who I suspect fell into a beer-induced slumber early on) was up & on his balcony scoffing the fresh bread that Jane had nipped to the corner shop for.

It was noticeably hotter this morning, with even the light breeze having the occasional hot blast feel to it. As such we decided that it was likely unbearable down on the beach, so we decided to stay at the apartment until mid-afternoon and then head into Fethiye for a stroll, a cold beer, and maybe a little ferry ride to Çalis.

I’d mentioned in a previous blog that the name of the city of Fethiye has some chunky history to it, and regionally, I wrote a bit about the Greco-Turkish war in 1919-1922 on Day 13 of last years blog.

It’s an ancient city, that was part of the Persian empire from as early as 500+ BC, and the Ottoman Empire until 1922, at which point the Turkish/Greek “switcheroo” (see link above) meant mass forced migrations, at which point it was known as Makri (“the long one”).

Prior to that, back in 1914, a Captain in the Ottoman Airforce, Mr Fethi Bey along with three relatives, decided it’d be a bit of a laugh to try to be the first to fly from Istanbul to Cairo, in a Bleriot airplane. Spoiler alert – they didn’t make it and crashed & died on 27 February 1914.

Fethi is second from the right.

It’s not much of a challenge to figure out where they crashed and so in 1934, the city was renamed Fethiye in his honour!

As we all headed down to the pool, a new episode of 93:20Pod “Thirty Questions” (Tom) dropped, so that was next on our agenda. A deliberately eclectic mix of questions put to one member of the team, some deep & philosophical, some just as important, like best and worst flavours of crisps.

This prompted us to answer along, which was actually quite good fun. Debates over “has their been a perfect film*” and “the perfect Friday evening – food, drink and film”.

(*it’s “Star Wars: Rogue One”, and “The Shawshank Redemption” in case you’re wondering).

Around 5pm we headed back to the apartment to see if we could shower & freshen up for a trip to Fethi Beys resting place. Short answer? No. Still no water. On the Facebook group it seems the natives are getting restless. To the level that a neighbouring town/village had come together and began a protest march!

Given we couldn’t shower, and still had a layer of chlorine & water resistant suncream on, we decided a dolmus or Taxsi to Fethiye sounded a bit grim. So we changed tack again, and instead headed the 0.75 miles down the upper/old road to Karizma hoping they were serving. (It was warm!).

We were in luck. At 6:45pm we squeezed in as the last available table.

Cracking food!

The food & service were superb. Starters of garlic mushrooms (I’m on a mushroom fetish at the mo’), some mini kebabs & the “Karizma Parcels” (filo triangle pasties filled with mince, cheese & herbs). Mains were Seabass, a beef kebab, and Lurchio chose a big fillet steak because he’s not paying the “Hesap” (bill). It looked bloody gorgeous mind and it seemed to cut like warm butter. Suffice to say all plates were emptied!

Oh, Jane once again hit the cocktails. I’m starting to get worried this may be a trend which I need to control/curb post-holiday!

Pishpot…

A slow walk up the hill back to the apartment followed, despite my lazy protestations & moaning about my pair of knackered Achilles and grade 4 osteoarthritis in my knee. “Get on with it and close your fitness ring”, Jane replied. I hadn’t even noticed it was showing!

Anyway, we got back, but I didn’t even go in the apartment, instead heading to the pool, where I opened a cold one, stripped down to my undercrackers and sat with my legs in the pool whilst writing this. The joy of which, apart for it being cooling and relaxing was that I got to meet the bats who occasionally imitated 617 Squadron by “Dambustering” their way across the pool at low level before snaffling a midge and heading back, whilst dodging nightfighters. Some of that was not factually true.

It’s call to prayer time now, so I’ll be respectful, chill out and think good thoughts, whilst avoiding nodding off and ending up fully in the pool.

Going to be honest, what we do (or don’t do) will be dictated by water availability tomorrow. We’ve stockpiled grey water for flushing, and the swimming pool may well end up more of a bath, but hopefully something gets sorted soon.

That said, it’s an ‘inconvenience’ that’s all. If we end up staying around the apartment for two weeks, with our private pool & fully stocked bar, serving Bomonti at £1.20 per 500ml bottle, that doesn’t sound like a holiday I’d turn down!

Have a cracker folks (and yes, conscious that the UK weather is somewhat different to here!).

Stay safe, peace & love,

Chris

Day 15 – It’s Coming Home…

Final day! Home by early hours of Monday, if all goes to plan, so this is an adieu for now post!

Well, we actually got up a bit earlier today! At least Jane & I did. With the “chauffeur” picking us up at 6:30pm, we decided to make a bit of the day, and get one last pool & sunbathing session in.

It really has been a superb holiday, in a great location. We are sold, hook line & sinker on this part of Turkiye & Jane & Gareth’s generosity in letting us use their apartment, has smashed it out of the park. The location & layout has been ideal.

It was aitch-ow-tee, HOT today! Weather app was suggesting 35C, but we saw a few posts on Oludeniz Facebook groups showing pictures of thermometers in the sun showing 45C. It certainly felt the hottest it’s been, although it’s never been below 32C anyway. Certainly will help cope with the forecast temperatures for Manchester on Monday & Tuesday! Thankfully, I’m on holiday Monday, so we can chill & enjoy being home & being reunited with Toby.

Toby looking thick.

After enjoying the pool for a final time, we’d decided to take a stroll back to the Turtle Restaurant for a late lunch, as we weren’t sure when or what would be our next meal.

A couple of Bomonti Unfiltered beers helped with dehydration risks and lubricated the throat, whilst the double cheeseburger & chips (they do make fabulous chips over here, btw!), was demolished.

As some know, I’m an avid Manchester City fan & seasoncard holder. I couldn’t help but notice that the guy serving us had a passing resemblance to one of our players.

It seemed less odd than you may imagine, to see title-winning Ilkay Gündogan cleaning windows in a bar in Ovaçik. I reckon he’s an all round good lad, and would help out like that.

A hot walk back to the apartment and then the clean down & packing began in earnest. Our ‘luxury transport’ arrived bang on time, and we set off on the hour long transfer to Dalaman Airport.

As we were driving in to the terminal, I spotted that there was a military jet on the taxiway, looking like he was about to take off. As we stopped at the departure terminal, there were 3, maybe 4 huge roars as these fast jets took off as if it was a ‘scramble’!

Dalaman is a decent, modern & clean airport with good facilities (take heed Manchester!) and so after a relatively painless bag drop-off, we were straight through security and into the departure lounge. Which had a McDonalds. Which meant an order was placed.

Queue wasn’t as bad as this looks, tbh

The flight left after a short delay & we headed the 4h10m north west to Manchester.

Where the pre-booked security fast passes didn’t work, so by the time they gave up & just let us through, we were no better off. That was followed by a 30 minute wait for the baggage, but once collected, we headed out, grabbed a black cab & headed home. Which is where I write this from, at 2:31am!

Charlie not impressed.

So, the end of another great holiday & therefore my blogs, which I’m sure will delight some!

Hope you’ve enjoyed them in whatever weird way you do. Anyway, it may be that you’ve not long to wait for more, as we go away again in 12 working days (for me at least)! Off to Pembrokeshire for a week, one of my favourite parts of the UK & a place with many, many wonderful memories stretching back decades.

I can’t promise a blog, and even if there is one, it may not be daily, but we’ll see!

Ta-ra for now!

Chris x

Day 14 – Short Lengths

Warning: no idea how, but I have no photos to distract from the inherent boredom of these blogs. Which means I’ve included a video which may get banned. It’s definitely “NSFW”. Reader discretion advised…

The usual start! I was awake from around 7:30am, but couldn’t be arsed getting up, instead double checking pickup times for tomorrows transfer to Dalaman Airport (6:30pm), and researching soap box racer chassis plans, as you do.

Totally Stockport & Kraft Races are organising a “Soapbox Derby”, with the aim of raising money for charities. This is right up my street! Design, build and race a kart down from St Peter’s Square, down to Mersey Square, past the Plaza, 180-right and down to the old Air Raid Shelters. Simple! Haybales & obstacles, but “prizes for showmanship, innovation and best dressed” mean it’s not just fastest first (- it really does though!)

Given we have pretty much the whole of tomorrow, this shouldn’t feel like ‘the last day”, but it’s hard not to get dragged back into reality, as I’ve said before. Must try harder!

Anyway, bread, cheese & coffee on the balcony as per, with the inevitable consequence of that instant coffee following shortly after…

Early on, I explained the toilet situation here, whereby there is a water jet installed within the rim of the toilet, with a tap nearby to allow you to bidet your nether regions clean of even the hardiest of winnets. It’s amazing and I have no idea why it’s not more prevalent. Except when the water supply & pressure drop off intermittently, that is.

The usually refreshing act of jetwashing one’s ‘rusty sherrifs badge’ becomes borderline sadomasochistic, as the pleasure brought, is often switched, when without warning the water jet stops, there’s a huge release of air in the pipes and you are then peppered by an air/water blast right up your ricker!

Whilst I’m discussing my undercarriage, there’s one last thing on my agenda before we go…I can’t not take advantage of a secluded & (almost) not-overlooked private pool, so I intend to go skinny dipping! I promise no photos (- we don’t have a telephoto lens with us, anyway).

Skinny-dipping mission accomplished! After a couple of lengths and a few strokes, I was done, as usual. [Note to self: Review last sentence before publishing] Thats one more point added or taken away on those daft Facebook posts – just need to get arrested & go on a cruise, and I’ll be near perfect!

Some washing of clothing, towels etc ensued around 4pm, with the intention of showering before going out. Sadly, the water-gods had other ideas, so I avoided the sandblasting bidet, and Jane managed a ‘trickle shower’. Definitely noticed a difference since the Beyrami started & influx of people. I think demand is outstripping water supply at peak times.

Having previously booked a table at Shiraz for 7pm, we left the apartment in reasonable time to walk down & settle in. I’ve had it in my head all holiday, that I’m going to challenge myself with the “Megasarous [sic] T-Bone Steak, served with fried mushrooms, onions, egg & handcut chips”. Had to be done!

Prior however, was a very nice starter of a local dish, Borek. It’s a filo pastry roll, with minced beef, onions and cheese (I’ll email Greggs now). Don’t get hung up with the beef/cheese combo, on the basis that if this were a round of Masterchef, it will described thus:

“Yeah, hi Greg. No, it’s not a kilo of chocolate cake, it’s a modernist take on a deconstructed cheeseburger with a doth of our olive headwear to the ancient Ottoman Empire, yet still appealing to your shepherding roots”.

Mains! Mahhoosive T-Bone, which I’ve never had before. The fillet was incredibly relaxed & juicy, and the strip (the bigger side of the ‘T’) was a totally different texture. I’d ordered medium rare as always, but I can’t help thinking that if order again or cook that, I’d actually head to medium as the strip could have broken down more.

Jane had the seabream which looked stunning served and even better as Jane started eating it – not over or under done.

Charlie ordered what he had last time. And with good reason! The Steak Pegasus was superb! The beef was like butter, and marinaded presumably for ages, in a quite spicy mix.

It’s a warm one tonight, as after a really nice farewell to the folks serving, we headed back up the slope to the market to grab a few final bits, but good grief, I perspired! I know at present, I’m not at LEJOG levels, but there were moments where it felt like someone had displaced Angel Falls to between my shoulder blades. It’s a good job I was once a Glass Blowers apprentice & know how to mop sweat from crevices.

We’re home. We’ve had and are still having a fabulous time. But I’m done typing for today, as I’ve now replaced heat sweats with meat sweats, so the ‘bidet of doom’ calls.

Ask about back-farts btw, if you ever meet me. It’s something I think I’ve invented, but happy to be corrected. I’ve a video [which due to aforementioned technical issues, I’ve had to resort to posting]. It’s a hidden talent I never know I had, when you mix me with a cool tiled floor. But that’s for another blog (the “Only Fans” one).

Forgive me Oni Wan, for I have sinned.

Jane is distraught that I just uploaded that, but as a kid trapped in a badly worn (and worn out) adult body, it needed presenting. In my head, it did. Maybe not yours.

See ya!

Chris x

Day 13 – Dirty Stopouts

Oof, a late one tonight!

Before I begin, I should have shown you this boat that was in Fethiye harbour last night. No idea if it’s posh or not, but they certainly know how to push kerb/mooring appeal or it’s watery equivalent! I also liked the resourcefulness of a) the bait fisherman using the light to guide his rod, and b) the cats that casually sat around him, looking for his cast-offs.

An early-ish stroll down to the shop and again, a lovely, friendly welcome from the chap that runs it – a very cheery “good morning”, followed by a wholesome handshake & a quick chat about the holiday.

Bread and more horrible Haribos for Jane. Vicious!

Another day practicing for our return to the UK Heatwave, having now had 13 days consecutively of 31C plus heat, although it’s somewhat conflicting for me today.

Sitting here on a sunbed, slapped up in Factor 30, and dipping in the pool before getting back to sunbathing. And as I type that, my mum is being picked up by my sister to get taken to St Helens Hospital for a skin cancer operation & resulting skin graft. Her op is 2pm UK time so hoping to get updates later today.

Various discussions were had about where to venture for tea, given tomorrow (our last night) is booked at Shiraz, a short walk from the apartment, and we’d been to Fethiye the previous evening. Hisaronu seemed the easy, logical choice, but there’s a village we’d yet to visit, Kayaköy.

Jane, having now joined every possible Facebook group relating to this area, had seen a few really good reviews of a restaurant down there, called Rokka.

Automatically fulfilling my ‘organiser’ duties, I went on their Facebook page, clicked the WhatsApp link, and messaged them asking for a copy of the menu, and their availability this evening.

Within minutes, I was sent the full menu & pricing, along with confirmation that they had space. We had a look through the menu (extensive, varied, decent enough pricing, nice views), and agreed it was worth a punt.

Messaging them back to confirm a booking, we were asked our hotel. I sent them a WhatsApp ‘location’ link with an address, stating it was an apartment. They messaged back saying they could also pick us up at 6:30 if we liked. Which we did.

A WhatsApp call at 6:30 from the restaurant was a bit garbled but basically the driver couldn’t identify where we were. This call was interrupted by another call, showing a similar name (including the restaurant name), so I answered that. A subtle midlands accent , female said thought she was nearby but a chap was helping her find us.

Bless, turned out our neighbour, Mr Retail, was in the car trying to work out the WhatsApp link. They were a street down from where we were, and it clicked when she asked about a goat, dog & peacock. “That’s the one”, I replied.

Moments later, we thanked our neighbour for his help, and jumped in. Had a good chat with her on the drive, but missed getting her name, doh!

Her & her other half used to run one of the beaches on the Blue Lagoon, but when their lease ran out, they decided to try something else & took on the restaurant. Frustratingly for them that was December 2019. Refurb sorted, we went into lockdown. Devastating.

Anyway, we arrived in this beautiful little ‘village’ of Kayaköy and turned into the restaurant carpark to an amazing view (my photo does it no justice).

Ghost Town

Above the village is a ghost town, an abandoned hillside full of houses, all now part of a museum, because of the history. The village dates back over a thousand years, but it’s relatively modern history is the more relevant.

Although I don’t remember the “good old days” before the ghost town, I do know that it’s ancient Greek in origin, so is also known as ‘Livissi’, the religious leanings shifted to Christianity, or rather ‘Greek Orthodox’ and their Turkish, Ottoman governors got on for many hundreds of years.

Then it kicked off a bit! The Turks massacred the Greek Orthodox Christian’s during World War 1, including a chunk of the Kayaköy locals, and almost all of the rest fled or were kicked out. A Greco-Turkish war in 1919-1922, didn’t help! Basically the outcome was that Turks got booted out of Greece & Greeks got booted out of Turkiye.

It was about his time that the Turkish field marshal, and revolutionary Mustafa Kemal Atatürk was quoted as saying that “this town, is coming like a ghost town”, after which it was redeveloped as a sort of poor-man’s Busch’s Gardens. So I’m told by those ITK.

Anyway, back to present times.

We were greeted by (presumably) the lady’s incredibly charismatic partner., who asked us to relax, take a look around or just sit and enjoy the view.

We chose to sit & chill for a while before going to our table, and watched a horse have a dust bath, revelled in the bush next to us because we were sure it had fruiting pomegranate on it, and debated as to whether Riyad Mahrez is a valued player or a show-pony.

A beer (shocker!) was served and after a while, to our table we went. The menu is pretty big, but eventually we made our decisions, and albeit Mr Charisma declined Janes order of Hummus, and suggested instead on the Mezze Platter, food was served and all of it was lovely.

Main course, I went with a traditional Shepherds (no, not pie) clay-fired, sort of lamb stew. It was bloody tasty, if a touch too physically hot for me for about half an hour!

Then the cats arrived. A white one with a hole in its back end, and not the one it’s supposed to have., was quickly followed by a massive chunky Ginger, and a couple more. Cheeky buggers!

A couple more beers, with Charlie seemingly now looking to prove his maturity, my matching me bottle for bottle. Oh, dear. Never going to end well. The upside to this was he said more in the next hour that he had done all holiday. A bit of ‘beervado’ kicking in.

After the food, we paid up & the owners sorted us with a ‘cab’, one of their vehicles, who took us to Hisaronu.

Duly tipped, we left and walked into the pedestrianised zone & headed for Fez Bar. No wonder it’s a favourite for a few of my friends that have been before us. A chat with most of the staff/team & Serdal, the owner, some birthday cake (a lad around the corner, who was celebrating his 16th birthday & Serdal sorted out a surprise cake for him), and a beer, although we called time on Charlie’s libations. He’s still yet to realise that when you stop drinking, you still get an increase in effects as the alcohol slowly enters the bloodstream. He’ll learn as we all did/do.

We bid Fez Bar farewell for the last time, and headed back up the strip. Jane managed to get a selection of ’Evil Eyes’, and I got her to get me one for the brewshed.

A short taksi ride later, and we were home – for well beyond 12am! Dirty stop outs!

Final full day tomorrow, before a Sunday of chilling, then Airport etc.

So it’s a goodnight from him…and a goodnight from me!

Chris x

Ps. Mums op went well & plastic surgeon is happy, so we’re happy…

Day 12 – as Tock follows Tick

The longer we are here, the more we unwind. I thought we were done, but this morning I realised there been a couple more ‘ticks off the spring’. I’m like an old watch that’s not been wound up, where the second hand pulses, and then very occasionally moves a little bit forward, and at the same time the mainspring unwinds just that fraction more. As tock follews tick…time unwinds, just that little bit more.

Credit: Best Guinness Ad ever…

All that said, it’s getting to that point in the hols, where the odd thought is about the return to reality. Will the flight be on time? Will Manchester Airport do it’s worst or best? Could we possibly pick Toby up before going to bed? (Answer – No!). Has my beer exploded? Has my brewshed exploded? Will Toby ever forgive me? To the nearest 100, how many work emails will I simply delete?

Pushing those thoughts to the back, as best as, we pressed on with the job in hand – doing nothing.

A wise man said to me once “It’s the most relaxing or energetic holiday, loads to explore or everything you need on your own doorstep or within the garden walls”. He’s not wrong!

Jane & I are returning to Fethiye today, as apparently there’s a yarn/wool shop, and Turkish wool is really good quality at a great price. I may offer to ‘mind the bags’ in the place opposite, the Büyükev craft ale place (https://buyukevpubkitchen.business.site/) from the other day! And Charlie? Who knows!

As regular readers can anticipate, it didn’t quite work out like that. But that’s not to say it wasn’t positive. That 4/4:30 became 5/5:30, and Charlie did indeed deign to accompany us.

Taksi into Fethiye, with my muttered directions to our host being “McDonalds, teşekkür”. Despite Charlie & Jane’s faces lighting up, that direction meant we were 50ft across and 4 storeys away from the Cafe Park Teras. Another great shout from the “best private holiday rep”we’ve ever had!

Top floor views over the harbour incited a cold beer order (Bamontis Filtresiz). A few marginal, grunted conversations with Charlie, mainly around Man City transfers &/or possible formations & tactics for next season, and then we headed to yarntown.

Absolutely confess that my relaxation levels were now on hold, but only because it was assumed my role was to be satnav. I will say however, it is a forte of mine. Knowing roughly where it was in relation to other now-known landmarks, I was like a walking version of Waze. Wool shop found!

To find they didn’t have the ‘cakes’ that Jane was after (space?). Oh, well, there goes my chance to sample the Gara Guzu Porter.

Next stop was the cafe we stopped in the other day, Genis. It’s a really nice stop-off, right on the harbour side & right next to the ‘moped/electric scooter’ path (coutures blue).

Like Alan’s.
Like what I should have…

Jane & Charlie ordered a sharing plate of ‘meats’. I wasn’t ordering a starter but did indicate I’d sweep up remnants. Blimey! Going to be honest, at £12, it was a stretch. I recognised the meats, as I’d been buying them in the local shop for our butties. Aye, we’ll. I ate the walnuts and raisins that they were dressed in.

The mad thing is that the next courses were fab & also really good value. Jane & I on the Seafood tagliatelle & Charlie on a Margarita pizza (that he then picked the tomato off! WTFlip!)

I’d recommend going for an evening meal if you don’t order the meat platter, as beyond that, it was great & we did leave a decent tip.

A mooch along the harbour and then through old town, and we were about done. Which paled into insignificance when judged against tonight’s traffic. “Huge Queues”.

So we walked out towards the edge of town, and hopped a cab that was in clear traffic and headed home.

Back. Commando with airflow shorts on. Wind beneath my…wings?

Cloud-laden sky and folk on social media laughing at how people wasted money on going abroad in a UK heatwave…chancers. Ill have an evening dip in the pool, whilst the aircon chills my linen 😉

Nighty night!

Chris x

Day 11 – Nothing to see, move along…unless you like a Mullet

Routine seems firmly set now, with ambitious targets being set and consistently not achieved. (I’ll continue to blog, but feel free to call it a day, if you fancy).

Todays only ambitious target was to get a cab to Hisaronu at 4:30, mooch & a meal. We headed out around an hour after target.

Prior to that however, I wandered to Ovaçik Market to get bread. It had just arrived & the bread cabinet was not only full, it was full of a freshly baked & still warm assortment of bread! So much so, it had steamed up. I plumped for our reliable ‘fat baguette’, but threw in a tear & share type daisy-shaped thing.

Back to the apartment & I couldn’t resist the bread. The tear & share was fab – light, airy, poppy seeded bakery heaven.

Jane joined & tucked in as well, having a breakfast that also consisted of her weird semolina-esque yoghurt.

Usual format from there. Down to the pool. I’ve yet to mention but even the walk to the pool is relaxing. Out the door, turn “Sa”, hello to Felix, through the olive trees, another “Sa”, past the grapes and down the steps. “Tranquility base here. The Eagle has landed.”

Olives on the trees.
Hanging grapes.
The first I’ve seen since I started using the bidet, coincidentally.

Jane reads, I listened to a podcast, which then led me to watching a YouTube vid of Stewart Lee talking about Top Gear, and specifically Hamster Hammond. Well worth a gander…

So, a cold beer was had, swims were had, waboba was thrown. The usual. No sign of Charlie however. Definitely missing having a mate with him or being home – a ‘single child’ challenge.

Cheers!

Having missed the only target we set for today, but us all having had a shower, a shave and a sit down, we walked down to the Taksi rank & headed back to the Fez Bar in Hisaronu. I know I’ve said this in many of these, but once again, the welcome & the familiarity was superb. I have much ‘trip-advisoring’ to do when home, all of which is very positive. You’re made to feel special when you go to any of the places we’ve been lucky enough to go to.

Examples of the above:

We arrived, we’re warmly greeted & served quickly & with a relaxing good humour.

Jane & Charlie both asked about linking to my personal hotspot as the “Mr Dongle wasn’t working”. I whatsapped Ozzy asking for a data top-up, he responded almost instantly, and then within minutes the data plan had been topped up at no additional cost. Mega service!

Big Dongle service! Sub-5-minutes & topped up

Then, whilst at the table, we realised we’d forgotten to book in to Shiraz for our final meal, whilst at Sandinos last night. I WhatsApped Suat, asked for a reservation and again within minutes, we had confirmation& a very friendly reply.

After a few beers (Frederiks IPA), and a pink gin for Jane, we headed back to The Hidden Gem (of Lamb Shank fame). Yet another personal welcome from the owner & the guys that served us last week, and a nice table at the front of the balcony overlooking the street.

Jane & Charlie tucked in to a tapas smorgasbord (mixed cultures, but let’s not fall out over that) of hummus, chicken wings, chicken skewers, squid, bruschetta, along with balloon bread, whereas I couldn’t resist ordering the grilled lamb chops. Oh. My. Word. They were (and this is a high standard) almost as good as those at Lilac Cottage Tapas & Wine Bar in Prestbury.

Lamb chops, in ma’ belly

Mullets. A lad walked in with his family, and brought on by Charlie mentioning his mate has a ‘mullet cut’ in a positive manner, he had what I would recognise as a mullet. Horrified, Charlie confirmed that todays definition is different from that of the Barry Venison & Pat Sharp ilk & explained that his mates mullet did not involve hair you could have pig-tailed.

Pat Sharp or Joey Exotic. You choose.

The plan was to head back to Fez Bar, but I confess I did get lured into the shops. £40 lighter, and 4 (decent quality) tee shirts ‘better off’, some of which have a brand on them I’ve even heard of.

My 15 minute commercial dalliance over, the penance was duly & swiftly served. “Want to go home” was grunted. Charlie concurred. (Joke!) So Taksi home rather than a social interaction with other like-minded holidayers.

Today was won in straight sets and without any deuces. So I’m going to sit here on the balcony, drink a couple more cans of Efes ‘Run Like A Tap’ Malt Ale (4.8%ABV) before retiring unless the wild pigs return.

Oh! The wild pigs!

  • They just returned
  • They were here last night

I forgot to mention earlier! Here’s (blurred) photo proof that the little oinkers do exist, taken last night around midnight:

‘Fraid I don’t have a night-vision setting
Oink, oink!

Night folks!

Chris x