Florida 2019 – Day 4 – Chill

Turns out that we wouldn’t have had a choice about taking it lightly today, as Charlie’s been under the weather, sadly.

The plan was to try IHOP for breakfast, then fire over to the Mall again, for a quick shop, before heading back to chill out and then watch the game.

As it turned out, the weather this morning was much better than forecast, so we should have really switched the day around, but hey-ho.

We “International House Of Pancaked” breakfast as planned. Mine was alright, Jane’s very good apparently (scrambled egg, cheese, avocado, salsa), and Charlie ordered from the lunch menu – a BLT with fries. Which was only nibbled at before he ‘fessed up he had been feeling sick since we left the apartment. Doubt it could be anything to do with the Haribo Sours he was eating when I asked him to get up out of bed.

What I didn’t like at IHOP was that when given the bill of $39, and giving a $50 bill, we got $3.50ish change as the waitress “automatically” took her 20% tip. Which I would have probably left until she took it without asking!

From there, I dropped Charlie & Jane back at the apartment before nipping back to the outlet mall to buy a pair of trainers and a couple of extra tee-shirts (- I’d not packed very well!).

After 25 minutes of car-parking wars, where you stealth-drive around watching for returning shoppers, trying to guess where their car is parked so you can grab the space, before marking your territory with aggressive application of the indicators.

A “man shop” meant I was back at the car in less time than it had taken me to park.

From there, a run around Target for a few bits and pieces, and then off to the local sports bar to watch City, and have some time to myself.

Jane has a nice relaxing time around the pool, with her Kindle, right up to the sudden deluge, which was about the same time I ran across the Miller Ale House carpark.

City got a questionable VAR penalty which we subsequently missed and then all hell broke loose.

Not in the game, in the bar! Mr F & clan arrived just as the other screens started showing Castlefield v Wigan in the Super League (Rugby League). I’m proud to say I was born in Wigan and raised as a Mancunian, whereas Mr F, dallies around and chooses his teams at will, Leeds for football, Cas for rugby. [I’ve only put this in to wind him up].

Game over (a 1-0 loss for City, away at Spurs in a two-leg quarter final, so not the end of the world by any means).

I bid farewell ‘Peter Kay-style’, with a subtle V sign as if scratching my face, and then went back to the apartment.

A quick turnaround and then out for a deliberately-delayed Mother’s Day treat meal for Jane, at Bonefish Grill.

We’ve eaten there a couple of times and had really nice food, and this time was no different. Jane ordered her usual of double lobster tails with clarified butter, and was suitably replete in finishing.

Tea sorted, so back to the apartment where Jane donned her Penguin suit and sat reading on the balcony, whilst I won an unofficial “who can make the biggest noise” competition, by farting louder than the lads setting off Bottle Rockets on the golf course that we overlook. I blame the Bonefish steak.

Suitably relaxed, it soon came time to retire to bed, somI took a few minutes to scribe today’s drivel.

Tomorrow, the plan is to head west to Busch Gardens where the weather is slightly cooler, but less likely to develop into thunderstorms.

That’s the plan so far anyway!

Night!

Florida 2019 – Day 3 – Seaworld

Sound a bit ‘lightweight’ but we’re having a day off today. Travel, body clock adjustments, weather forecast, a brilliant first couple of days & remembering it’s supposed to be a holiday, all meant we decided to take a break from our Florida holiday!

No really firm plans, as such. I do now know a sports bar that happens to be at the end of our road, who may or may not have been contacted by an ‘anonymous’ City fan enquiring if they would be showing the game.

After that, I promised I’d take Jane for a nice meal, which in Janes terms means lobster. So that’ll be us at Bone Fish Grill tomorrow.

But what about yesterday?

A planned 10am meet-up at Seaworld (pantomime boo, again) was almost met. Tardy performances from some of my team aside, and the F’s doing a quick “Denny Detour” on their way, so 10:08 at the gate would have to suffice. Must try harder.

“Bag Lady” Jane assumed the position, as Charlie and I made a dart for a quick razz on Manta (rollercoaster), whilst waiting for Mrs F’s pancakes to settle.

The queue sign said 45 minute wait, but as seasoned pro’s we know we could knock 10 minutes off that. And we did. By queueing. In an orderly fashion. Some of the queue signs show times that are there to move crowds around the park and even the demand out. At least that’s what I assume. And if they don’t, then I’m available for consultancy work.

A quick non-physical ‘high five’, as we got to the front of the line in sub advertised time, and celebrations were cut short. “Thank you for you patience” is a message you don’t want to hear. Lip-reading (which I cant do, so the next bit is all conjecture & I admit is likely to be total bull), one of the safety switches on row 6 was a bit flakey so they switched it off.

Anyway, that led to a 25 minute delay, before we got on the ride. Manta is a “flying rollercoaster” (you hang underneath it), where you go through an inverted loop and at some point pull 3.7G.

I hate the inverse loop. Everything is backwards. Which I know, is in the name, but having your two-boiled-egg breakfast rammed backwards up your throat Isn’t something I want to get used to.

So the first ride took an age. But at least it meant that when we got back the F’s were semi-digested & ready for action. Everyone’s a winner!

Next ride…shut, temporarily, due to an issue. So we swiftly moved on to “Kraken”, another wicked, head banger of a rollercoaster. Which, as we got to be front of the queue, stopped. They then announced a delay whilst they got another carriage (is that what they’re called? I doubt it) onto the track. Another delay.

It’s a twisty, turny, loopy, g-forcy, smash-your-head-against-the-headrest kind of ‘coaster. Which was good. Although admittedly, I was focused heavily throughout the ride on my two-boiled-egg breakfast, not for the first or last time that day.

We did a water ride/log flume thing next and got wetted down, prior to Charlie announcing his hunger. Due to raising out of bed 120 seconds before he needs to leave the house to do anything, he’d had some haribo sours for breakfast.

The F’s, still processing a Denny’s, weren’t as hungry, so we went for lunch in the Antarctic cafe, whilst they sunbathed in the 30deg heat.

Lunch, (defined by me today as that time between leaving and rejoining the F’s), was eventful.

My food was over-priced, appallingly handled and paltry in volume. All for the princely sum of $15. Yes, I’m aware in an

Antarctic-themed canteen, but you don’t meet to be so authentic that my noodles were as cold as a penguins feet.

The annoying thing is, I ordered the same meal last time here and it was great!

But the bigger story from lunch was…

An old bloke lost control of his mobility scooter and ran over an old lady’s leg. He then reversed into another old lady in a wheelchair. Having seen that we saw him, he raced off at 2mph, effecting the slowest getaway ever, without an apology!

It turned out to be quite serious. Once the medics turned up, as they wheelchaired her due to a suspected fractured ankle.

Drama over, we met up with the F’s. The kids wanted to go on Mako, a relatively new rollercoaster that’s the tallest and fastest in Florida, so we headed off in that direction.

Before we got there however, Jane decided to buy herself a full-sized Penguin ‘suit/blanket’. Each to their own, I suppose!

It’s seeming quite quiet in Seaworld, so the queues weren’t too bad. So much so that they fired around Mako three times consecutively without a hitch.

I said I’d cover off my views on Seaworld and the negativity that their brand has associated. I watched the Black Fin documentary, and taking into account it was putting forward a single sided perspective, it did trouble me.

Since we first came here, though to today, it has seemingly changed. There’s less and less emphasis on the “show” and more on the conservation research and rescue work.

I’m not wholly comfortable with the larger mammals being here in captivity, but at the same time, Knowsley Safari Park, for example does the same, but doesn’t incite the same feeling.

Yes, it’s a big money making machine, but they aren’t wholly reliant on the captive animal element of Seaworld Park, and they are clearly scaling this back.

My negative feelings aren’t strong enough to stop me coming and enjoying all of the other great elements. Sorry, if that offends.

After a few more ‘coasters and an absolute soaking on a new water ride, we were all knackered, so headed out for tea at Outback.

The food there is superb, and my steak & ribs combo was sublime.

We were served by a real character called Pete. Welcomed us, chatted pretty knowledgeably about ‘soccer’, recommended a sports bar that would be showing the game, and had superhuman hearing. At one point Mr F leaned over and quietly told me the beer was good and he fancied another. From the next table, Pete shouts over “No problem, coming right up!” and another pint was delivered!

And after that, the day was done. As were we!

‘Til next time!

Florida 2019 – Day 2 – Oasis (not the band)

A 3am wake up for me today, means around 4 hours sleep. Had worse, I guess. Anyway, I’m on my hols so it’s easier to deal with!

We were all pretty ‘up and at it’ this morning, as the time difference (-5h) is still affecting us. We saved time getting ready as there was no need for a shower, given where we were going today!

Discovery Cove is an all-inclusive “day resort, a sort of oasis”, owned and operated by Seaworld (hang fire, before you boycott these blogs, I’ll talk about ethics and Seaworld tomorrow, given we’re likely to be going there, you can boycott me after that).

They limit entry to around 1300 pre-booked people per day, so it’s got a relaxed vibe to the place, with beaches, a very natural-feeling lazy river, an aviary, opportunities to swim with dolphins and even sharks, and snorkel around in the Grand Reef, with tropical fish and rays. Breakfast and lunch are included, as are the bars, where cookies, pretzels, soft drinks, beer, wine and cocktails are all available. Sales pitch over!

After a 25 minute drive from our apartment, we got there for 8:30am, parked up, and then checked in.

We’ve bought a “park pass”, which means we paid a lot less than day rates and get unlimited access to 3 parks plus a day at Discovery, and free parking (not to be snuffed at, at $20 a day!).

Because of that, we got photo ID passes made up as we checked in, which we will use at Seaworld (pantomime boo!, Aquatica (“there’s a floater in the wave pool!”), and Busch Gardens, which is in my humble opinion, the best of the parks, by a country mile.

In we went and straight for breakfast where we’d arranged to meet the F’s. On arrival, our ‘tranquil day oasis’ was a fire scene, with the kitchen being closed and the alarms going off. Nothing major, other than a slight delay to entry, at least that’s what I thought at the time.

Canteen-style service of scrambled eggs, sausage, potatoes, and then other unidentifiable ‘stuff’, topped up with as much of the fruit, cakes, beer(!), coffee, juices et al, that you wanted.

I’ll be blunt. The breakfast was awful, and not at all in keeping with the level at which DC is marketed.

It became clear to me that what had actually been on fire (or at least subjected to Centre-of-the-sun temperatures was the scrambled egg. The server used an ice cream scoop to plate up. It sat there line a rubber ball, only changing shape to return to a more perfect dome.

The sausages were ok. The potatoes also ok (not ok enough for me to eat, mind), but the other two items only merited investigation out of scientific curiosity.

As best as I could figure, the two dark brown fried sticks that looked like fried bread, turned out to be over-cooked cinnamon donut (sic) ‘soldiers’.

And the scone (pronounced “Scon”, btw), was actually a large ball of raw dough. Charlie suggested it was that home-made play-dough.

So my breakfast was actually six blocks of scrambled egg & a punnets-worth of grapes.

Next, phase of the tropical oasis day is getting your wetsuit, and complimentary snorkel (& mask, if you forget to hand back in, as some seem to do), and then applying the dolphin-friendly factor zero sunscreen.

It’s actually brilliant to watch. Basically there is this white creamy substance in big pump dispensers, which you apply to the skin as normal, but in this instance, what then happens is that it forms an unmovable, impenetrable barrier to everything other than the suns rays, whilst remaining fully white. Think of that stuff you see on Aussie cricketers lips sometimes, but now scale that up to whole body level!

You can spot the newly-arrived Brits (like us) easily at this stage, as the application of the above whitening paste still tends to improve the “tan” in the vast majority of instances.

Mr F applied his to the point where he looked like Casper the friendly ghost! Or some awful, 1960s inverse blackface. I’m sure I probably did the same application, so won’t say anymore.

Next on the agenda was bagging sunbeds, so ‘complimentary towels’ were requisitioned at a 2-1 ratio -one for drying, one to lay claim to the sunbed.

We all relaxed into the day, and did what we wanted to do:

  • Mr F & I had a Bud Lite Lime to wash the toothpaste (and egg) away, and then bobbed around the lazy river for a bit
  • Jane & Mrs F, sat and pretended to sunbathe whilst actually just gossiping and people-watching.
  • And the kids cleared off and became the lifeguards problem for a few hours.

Perfect! It’s true, it’s a luxury oasis!

Then it’s lunch, which was significantly better than breakfast. In fact, it was an almost polar opposite experience, with a decent selection of hot and cold food, and plenty on nice desserts on offer.

After lunch, some of us headed off to the Grand Reef, where we could snorkel with the aforementioned tropical fish and rays.

What you may not realise is that tropical fish swim in tropical seawater, but that doesn’t mean tropical seawater is warm. Suffice to say that on entry to the water, my nether regions transformed into what would resemble a walnut/peanut combo. At least there would be little to interest the nibbling fish.

DCIM100GOPRO

I love the Grand Reef. I love just floating around with the snorkel, watching some huge stingrays glide by. Some brush past you, which at first is a little freaky, but you get used to it.

What you don’t get used to are the selfish cockwombles that barge past you in pursuit of Nemo or some other poor creature. Thankfully the lifeguards and in-water staff have a zero tolerance approach to this, and those folk are harpooned from the Reef and dropped into the shark tank.

As Mrs & Mrs F and I sat in the shallows allowing the rays to glide up to us at their own volition, suddenly, and not entirely out of character, Mr F jumped up and shouted “Bastard!”, and in so doing, taught a number of young American children a new word.

He’d good reason to shout as he did, as his knee began to swell, after a very nasty sting from an inch-long, evil-looking horsefly type thing. I reassured him that he should go for a swim as it would help before the anaphylaxis set in and he suffocated.

Thankfully a lifeguard/firstaider was on hand to apply a magic sponge (plucked from the artificial reef) and Mrs F looked relieved that Mr F was going to survive, as she wasn’t keen on driving in the States.

The park shuts at 5pm to give Nemo and his mates some well-deserved respite, so after eventually gathering up the kids, and showering the outer layers of whitening cream off, we set off back home via the Bahama Breeze restaurant off the West Irlo Bronson Memorial Driveway, it as we call it, the 192, just like the bus to Stockport.

Although it’s fair to say some of the party got less value than others from their meals (the kids were exhausted, to be fair), I had a nice spicy fish taco with clam chowder combo. Which was lovely.

We went out separate ways, after agreeing that weather permitting, we would “do Seaworld” tomorrow.

I lagged behind Charlie & Jane by around 15 seconds as they entered the apartment. As I entered, Charlie was in bed and falling asleep, and Jane in her PJs, already in bed.

The day was done! Except for downloading today’s photos, videos, recharging camera/phone/tablet/portable power packs.

I stayed up until just after 11, in the vain hope of sleeping in. Which I did until around 4am.

Night!

Florida 2019 – Day 1 – Retailers 3, Visitors 0

Aaarghh! The trainers! The trainers! They look identical to the ones he has yet are almost double the price! Bloody Nike! Glad City are getting rid as sponsors, as it may mean my son begins liking cheaper footwear! (No chance!)

Dad moan over!

Desperately trying to recover from yesterday’s tricky and limited food options, Denny’s didn’t seem the best place to go, but I custom ordered an omelette with plenty spinach (hope JP is pleased with my ‘speed’ choice!), onions, ham & a weird lean turkey “bacon”. I’ll just not mention the healthy b muffin, was dripping in that odd American fake butter nonsense. Does anyone know what it actually is, by the way? It’s like a combo of whipped cream, with cinnamon. It’s certainly not butter as I know it, but any guidance would be well received!

Oh! Bugger breakfast, anyway. What about our self-driving car! What the..! I can’t believe I didn’t tell you about it yesterday.

It’s got radar, and cameras and other such gizmos, that mean you get shouted at if you stray towards a lane line, it brakes all the way to a stop when on cruise and with only a button press then sets off again whilst maintaining a sensible distance from the car in front. All very clever, and slightly freaky but nothing compared to the “assisted steering” function! It steers the car within a lane and, when you indicate, it senses and warns of any blind-spot hazards before making the lane change. Don’t tell the insurer, but I did try letting go of the wheel for a few seconds and it steered us ’round a bend, but then shouted at me for not holding the wheel.

It really is an odd feeling when the car try’s to override your steering input. Which is why that particular feature is now disabled! Way to odd for me!

Oh, and the other thing I forgot to mention was that last night, I ticked off another astronomical bucket-list item, seeing the Hubble Space Telescope (the “HST”) potter across my sky, low to the east. I must confess to telling Jane I’d seen Sputnik, but that was the name of the app I used to verify what I was looking at! Doh!

Denny’s done, after a lengthy wait to pay up, and off to the first of two likely Mall stops.

Charlie is on a mission. A mission to make me have to work until I drop. No shoes in the Nike Outlet shop that he would wear. To be fair, I had a couple of items that I was after and Sod’s law, they were available in every other side than mine (Vans UltraRange Pro 2s, btw).

I also need swimwear. Thanks to encouragement from a friend of mine (the aforementioned ‘JP’), I’ve lost a bit of timber recently, and so last years would probably see me put on a ‘watch list’ for streaking. No luck avoiding that with a purchase at this Mall, so off we trot to the larger, Florida Mall.

Not a holiday so far, in my eyes this, being honest – more a required trip to acquire decency whilst bathing.

Not much more to tell of this, other than that Jane bought one shoe (as a key ring), I nipped to a surf shop to buy some board shorts, and whilst I was out of sight, collusion occurred, and I was robbed of a fair few quid, as on my return Charlie was putting on his new pair of trainers that looked very much like his old trainers. Basically a black Nike “swoosh” and black upper with black soles. And now I have a black heart and am shedding black tears.

At this point even my own enthusiasm to shop was curtailed so a decision was made to return to the apartment.

At this point, we heard news that our friends had survived their ordeal of a missed connection and were now installed in their villa. The power of WhatsApp allowed us to arrange to meet at one of our favourite restaurants for some fine dining, albeit earlier than normal, but understandably, given their lack of sleep.

I decided to take my new swim shorts for a quick test drive, whilst Jane and Charlie soaked up the rays (given off from their iPhone screens). They are Comfy with capital ‘C’. And water repellent without a capital ‘W’ or ‘R’. Nice!

Home in time for a quick shower before heading off to meet the F’s for tea, at what us adult like to call the “Texas Chainsaw Whorehouse”. Because we are childish.

The Texas Roadhouse serves proper “American” fayre (massive portions of steak/burger/chicken/pulled pork plus sides) thats really good quality and at a decent dollar.

Great to see all three of them, and the other one (you can choose which is which, but that’s honestly a joke, btw). And after a good blether, and a decent attempt at healthy eating (house salad no dressing, then med/rare chargrilled steak, with plain baked potato & green beans – fistbump), less the Sam Adams Seasonal IPA (fistbump retracted), we went out separate ways.

Mr & Mrs F have two sons. We have Charlie. It’s great to see Charlie light up and be a kid when they arrived. I get a lot of joy seeing him being the kid that he should be. That alone makes it great that we have numerous good friends that we have been lucky enough to share holiday time with.

It reminded me that “Onelies” (only kids) do have a different angle on life because of that. No rights or wrongs to either, especially when choice isn’t a ‘given’ for the parent(s) in some circumstances.

Anyway, I digress. Again. Back to the apartment, and the day is almost over.

Actually, I have enjoyed the day. Despised the shopping bit, but not to the detriment of spending time with my family. Still a ‘win’ overall.

I’m once again writing this from the balcony. This time it’s slightly different because:

A) It’s night, and I’ve yet to even bother trying to sleep

B) It’s raining. It sounds lovely.

C) And there’s lightning & thunder. It looks and sounds lovely.

D) the Cicadas are chirruping. It sounds lovely.

E) I can’t be arsed writing something tomorrow morning, because we’ve an early start!

We’re off to what could arguably and loosely be described as another ‘tradition’, Discovery Cove. It’s a day of “all inclusive paradise”, but google where it is. Its not that it isn’t paradise when you’re in, but find it and you’ll see you’re basically across from a motorway. It makes it even more impressive to be honest, that it does still feel so tranquil.

Weather may be mixed but it won’t bother me. I’ll explain more tomorrow, but I usually spend most of my time there underwater, so I don’t care!

See you tomorrow, maybe.

Night, night.

[updated & spelling corrected at 4:37am, sleep still my nemesis]

Florida 2019 – Outbound!

Morning folks!

They say what a difference a day makes, but for me, what a difference 2 weeks make!

This time two weeks ago, I was lucky enough to be at around 2600m, having the time of my life, skiing for the first time in around 15 years, with an amazing group of mates.

I’m now sitting on the balcony of our apartment, in a resort in Orlando, Florida, drinking a strong black coffee, waiting for my beautiful family to scupper my recent weight loss by going for a Denny’s breakfast. It’s become a tradition for any holiday in the USA.

Jane, Charlie and I set off yesterday at 6:30 to Manchester T2, to catch a Virgin 747 to Orlando International.

Manchester Airport should be a flagship arrival point for International travellers to showcase what we are all about. Having travelled through it three times in the last couple of months, sadly, I think it’s a shambles.

The parking has become somewhat of a farce, for pickup & drop-off, with inappropriate charges for what is often a sub-5 minute stay. The security section is currently massively under capacity (I know there’s a plan for major investment, but why allow it to get so bad?), and led to a lengthy delay before getting through.

Once through, things didn’t improve. Even the relatively new T2 has capacity issues – no spaces in either of the Exec Lounges (“sorry Sir, unless you’ve pre-booked, we’re not allowing any more in”). There were big queues for all of the eateries, so we ended up Weatherspooning brekky, before boarding.

Flight left on time and although a tad bumpy, the flight was great, decent food, good service and back to back films for me! (First Man, that Spiderverse thingy, Bumblebee & Mortal Engines – all good films).

We arrive a few minutes ahead of schedule but had to wait for 15 mins at the gate before disembarking due to a passenger that had had some sort of medical emergency near the end of the flight (oxygen cylinder and mask, plus cabin crew supervision all helped keep things relatively calm).

A minor queue through very pleasant and courteous customs, and the luggage was already there for collection. Hey, Manchester Airport – look it is possible!

Then came the usual wrangling with the over-pushy Alamo rental car rep, who was insistent that we wouldn’t get all of our luggage in the “mid-sized SUV” and that we really really needed to take out the roadside recovery cover.

“Are you telling me that there is a significant likelihood of the vehicle you’re renting me breaking down? And you’d like me to pay for the privilege?”.

Having collected our eetsy-teatsy, teeny-weeny little microcar, a brand new 2019 Nissan Rogue Sport S SUV (tosser!), we headed off to Orange Couny Resort via a quick supermarket shop.

I’d been looking forward to arriving earlier that previous and going out for tea, but my dearest son made it clear that he wanted tea in the apartment, so pizza, clam chowder & chicken wings became tea! Oh, accompanied by a slightly-too-sweet, but reasonably hoppy Dogfish Head 60 Minute American Pale Ale.

At this stage, we found out that our friends (the “F’s”), who were travelling later and via New York, has missed their connection and so were spending the night in the departure lounge before catching an early morning flight down. Gutted for them.

And so that was the first day done. All settled in. All unpacked. All ready for the traditional first day of Denny’s & shopping malls! 😬

So, I sit here in the morning sunshine, sipping that coffee, and dreading how expensive the trainers that Charlie wants are likely to be!

Off to the Outlet malls for his trainers and a pair of board shorts for me. Can’t be loosing my kecks on a water ride later in the week can I!

Cheers!

West Coast USA – Ground Zero

It’s 02:12am (UK time) on Tuesday, and I’m writing again! Didn’t expect to be doing this, but my body and head are totally out of sync and can’t agree on what time it is, and I realised how much I enjoyed reminding myself of what I’d done/not done that day, how I felt, whilst writing my little blog/diary of the day.

I’ve felt like I should be getting up now after a big sleep. Except, I ended up having to bail from work a couple of hours early because I was that knackered. I’d a monstrous headache, overslept my alarm, which for “regular readers” is inconsistent with my sleep pattern, and was feeling sick-tired.

After getting home, I dozed for a while, and felt way better afterwards. Likely going to pay for that, though.

Although I managed to get in to work for (just) before 9am despite sleeping through my 7am alarm, it was heavy going, tbh. I think I may need to dock my wages today – can’t say it was my most productive of days, but I did wade through the 600+ emails, if nothing else! Truth is, I know I’ll make that time and contribution up before Friday.

After the power-nap, turned out it was a good time to do a bit of tidying. Jane had been doing the post-hols washing, but even though Andy Hazeldine (our builder) has very kindly given us a couple of days off to recuperate (and also treat his lovely other half on her 50th – Happy Big Birthday, Mrs H), we decided to do a bit of shifting of “stuff”.

Being honest, we’ve a house full of “stuff”. And nowhere to put most of it. I reckon if we threw 60-70% of it away, we’d never notice, and have a less cluttered house. Its definitely not a “show home”, but it is a wonderful home! And apart from a 12 year break, has been my home since I was 4. It was much more a show-home when it was Mum & Dads house!

However, that cluttery vibe is why when I turned up at the kitchen planning showroom with a full 3d model of my ideas, I explained I wanted as few horizontal surfaces as possible:

“Anything you can put crap on, avoid. Because well put crap on it, basically”. Comprehensive design brief given!

Can’t express how chuffed I am at how the building work is going! It’s really exciting, and after spending 25-odd years restoring my old Beetle, I appreciated that the very best moment is when things look their worst. Counter-intuitive, I know, but from that point on, you’re just going to see the vision realised and everything just gets better.

I’ve masked off the living room and we’ll do what we can to keep that the place to be, whilst the dining- and kitchen room are “remodelled”!

Other packing and tidying has meant that Charlie now has his dream bedroom! A big telly, plumbed in to his XBox One, a decent Cambridge Audio amp, Mordaunt Short speakers, and a Denon Dolby DTX Audio Visual Amp/Distributor! We’ll never see him again!

The bugger has all my hard-worked-for, and some inherited-from-Grandad A/V “boys toys” for now, but they’re not staying! That’s for the new layout downstairs!

One thing that I did realise, is that whilst away, the lads made such good progress on the building work, they ended up doing some of the inside work, which mean shifting and dust-sheeting the Dining room.

On our return, and having found Arthur, my Father-In-Law, tucked under the dust sheet, propped up by Janes piano, I realised we probably should have moved his ashes before we went away!

Which then led me to look for Scooter, our first dog, who resides in a little urn, garlanded by two of her dog collars (we’re not morbid, honest). Not found! I must confess to thinking that the “vase with lid” may have been accidentally discarded.

Panicking, I searched the room, under dust sheets, and other potential homes, but couldn’t see her. (Jane had nipped out, so was unavailable for comment).

Shit! What a conversation this was going to be with Andy: “Hi Pal, thanks for all the work, but did a vase get broken, and spill out a load of “dust”? If so, where’d it get put?”

Thankfully, on Janes return, she reminded me she moved that upstairs, when we sold all the dining room furniture!

After tea, I rigged my laptop up to the downstairs telly, and started reviewing my raw GoPro video from the hols.

Wow! Firstly, there’s loads of it! Turns out I took over 1,700 photos and 300 video clips! Glad I don’t have to send them off to SupaSnaps for printing! Can you imagine the bill!

Secondly, the video does actually give a better sense of the scale of some of what we saw. Helps that the GoPro has such a wide angle lens, I guess.

Thirdly, it’s probably best to avoid me for a while, especially at our house, otherwise you’re in for a marathon bore-fest of holiday footage!

It was quite a shock to see just how much we’d done, and how many things we’ve seen. We are so lucky to have been on that holiday, and despite Charlie not fully appreciating it at the mo’ (understandably), I’m sure he will in time. A big “thank you” to Lindsay Hinchliffe, for her help in arranging, booking and getting us great prices on the flights and car-hire!

It’s now well after 2am, and I’m starting to feel marginally sleepy. So, I’ll call it a night, set the alarm for 4 1/2 hours from now, and bid you a good evening!

West Coast USA – Day 22 and Au Revoir!

Apparently I snored like a trooper last night. No-one has said so much but the thunderous looks I’ve got off a tired-looking Jane lead me to feel that is most definitely the case.

I woke around 6:30am, showered under the 12” “Rainfall” shower-head, packed up my gear and had a coffee on our balcony, savouring the last of the Santa Monica beachfront sun until the others stirred.

We got rid of all of the crap that had accumulated over the three weeks: emergency water supplies from before Death Valley, now-stale cookies, Oreos, 10 bags of crisps (“chips”) that no one likes (they were in a selection box), and other such rubbish. I pity housekeeping, having to clear all that lot up! Actually, I don’t. Not at $450/night by the time state tax, tourist tax, Trump tax, and just shy of $40/night parking had all been added on! It was a lovely, modern hotel though and in the best spot, hence the premium.

At Check-Out, we had a “discussion” about the additional $200+ that had been charged as a holding deposit, and confirmation that this would be credited back.

We’ve been using a “Revolut” debit card whilst here. A card that Jane had pre-loaded with dollars at a far more favourable rate than using a GBP card and an app that shows you instantly when any charges or credits are levied against it.

But it’s a right old setup here, and one I don’t fully trust, tbh. You (or they) swipe or insert your card, they then print a receipt, which you then write on, adding any tip and reconfirming a total, and then manually sign. At some indeterminate point in the future they will then punch in the total number and charge your card. Open to abuse for sure, so some careful reconciliations to be done when we got home.

The car was delivered to us in good time today, so a final sweep for anything ours, and we set off for LAX, and Alamo Car Hire Return.

Only a half hour drive, with surprisingly little traffic, so we found the return place without issue, and we’re guided to our drop-off spot. The guy did a quick walk inspection, signed the docket, and asked about any issues. I explained the manual override key doesn’t work, and that because of this, we had ended up paying for a jump start. He signed this off and told us to go see customer service to sort out.

So we did. The guy serving us was having none of it, and was insistent that we paid the $70. So we became very American and kicked up a fuss. And got the $70 credited back!

A shuttle bus from there to Terminal

B, the bags dropped off without issue, and even strolled through security. Totally different experience from the last time at LAX which was being refurbed at the time and was hell on earth!

The plan was to look for brunch at the airport, but having checked the food court and seen the queues, we bailed and headed off the to exec lounge instead.

The KAL Lounge on Level 5 had only just opened (12pm-8pm) so we did have a short queue to get in., but it was worth it! Must confess, it’s easy to get used to comfy seats, decent free WiFi, a relaxed atmosphere and the complimentary food and drinks.

Fair play to the fella that was making the most of the “pour your own spirits” section, as I counted 4 “large” Absolut Vodka Bloody Mary’s in about 10 minutes! And I t was only 12:20pm!

Our flight was a 3:30pm depart, so we had plenty of time to kill, and so got good value out of the lounge entry.

At around 2:40, we left the lounge, had a quick mooch in the shops, and then started the long walk to Gate 159, the farthest one away.

We were one of the last to board our 747-400, without making anyone wait, and got reasonable seats three in a row, on the starboard side, with seemingly pleasant folk around us (and no p#ssed-up lass from Leeds, this time).

Pushback was bang on 3:30pm and we taxied out, getting airborne around 20 minutes later. It is a big, big airport, after all!

This 747 must have had a more recent overhaul than our outbound aircraft, as the entertainment system was miles better – a better screen & movie selection.

It was going so well, until food was served and we ended up being last. Which meant the chicken curry had run out, and we ended up with a veggy pasta. Given Charlie doesn’t like cheese, that meant he had a buttered bread roll!

I watched “Ready Player One”, which I thought was really good, and then a really ridiculous “Liam Neeson as an ex-cop, with his family in danger”, called the Commuter. It passed time. That’s my movie review for that one!

I then watched Detroit (John Boyega and Will Poulter) about the 1967 civil unrest and in particular the alleged murder of three black men by police officers in a motel. Frightening that this was a very real storyline.

Like Charlie, I didn’t get any sleep, although Jane seems to have done well!

Back into UK time now, so 9:37am and we were in a holding pattern 8,000ft over London, touchdown at 9:46am and at the Gate at 9:51am! All nice and quick!

A potter around T5, after a bit of a queue through security. And then after just short of 2 hours, we went to gate A22 to board the little Airbus A319 that was going to get us back up to Manchester.

There’s always a lot less enthusiasm for air travel when it’s just to get you home rather than away for your hols, and especially so when you know that 18 hours from now, you’ll be setting off to work!

Just the little matter of baggage reclaim at Manchester and the taxi ride home, both of which went without a hitch.

Now back home and waiting for our dog to be repatriated from his Auntie Shiela’s, and able to reflect on the hols, before the Arsenal v Man City game starts in half an hour.

I’ve already cracked open a bottle of my super-matured homebrew Amber Ale, and raised a glass to our holiday, and our new build out the back! Cheers, Andy, it’s looking brilliant!

We’ve all thoroughly enjoyed what has been a holiday of a lifetime! We may not have made Yosemite, but it didn’t end up detracting and we’ve had a right old adventure! Jane and I still find Death Valley a magical place, but Zion is right up there as one of our most favourite places on the trip. But then there’s Bryce, and Gand Canyon, and Sedona, and Meteor Crater, and Venice Beach, and…well, you get the idea!

So that’s me done for blogging for a while now! Been really surprised at the number of folk that have been reading them, and especially those that have confessed to even enjoying reading them!

I’ve really just been writing them for my own pleasure, so it’s great to hear that it’s entertained a few others as well. Thanks for the messages, we had a bloody fabulous time!

Tara for now!

Chris, Jane & Charlie!

West Coast USA – Day 21

Blimey! It was 7am before I woke. The joy of one too many Double IPAs, methinks. Either that or it was the second-hand Ganga that Mrs downstairs was smoking, that I’d inhaled!

So I’ve no idea what sunrise was all about today, which makes a change, although I did stay up late to take some night photos, in my defence.

It was a lovely morning, though. Clear and warm. Temps are back up into the high 20s and mid 30s down here.

No breakfast included or on offer at the Ocean View Hotel, so once up, showered, dressed and Pokemonned (!), we went down to get the car.

I bloody knew it would be a ball-ache, getting the valet-parked car back. We’ll need to take the 15 minute wait into account tomorrow when we leave for the airport!

When we finally took delivery of the car, we’d decided that Griffith Observatory was our destination of choice today. Which is also a “kills two birds with one stone” jaunt, as you get a decent view of the Hollywood sign from there, without a two hour trail hike!

Its a Sat-Nav half hour drive, which translates as an hour of LA driving. The traffic is everything that everyone who’s been describes. Slow!

We drove up Western Canyon Road, realised parking was going to be a major issue, we’re ushered past the observatory, through a tunnel, and then down Eastern Canyon Road! To not far from the bottom before we found a space.

Thankfully there’s a 50c (fiddy-scent?) “Dash” bus that has a stop opposite the Greek Theatre so we took that up rather than hike.

Apparently we came here on honeymoon, but I have not one single recollection of that. Must have only had eyes for my beautiful new, poodle-permed wife.

Anyway, it’s an iconic landmark, just ask James Dean, who has a bust up here (done by the same bloke that did Fulham’s Michael Jackson, and THAT Cristiano Ronaldo one), after making the place famous in those scenes from “Rebel Without A Cause”.

There’s a funky “timepiece” in the Observatory. A big brass ball, hung on a steel wire, acting as a pendulum, with an electomagnetic ring up near the roof, that means it never stops. The ball appears to swing and ever so gradually move in a clockwise direction. The funky bit is that it doesn’t – it was one of the first experiments to demonstrate that the earth rotates. Simply put, the pendulum always swings in one direction. The Earths movement around its axis, shifts the points of reference. I like stuff like that!

There’s also a really nice tower/like sculpture of some of the most famous ancient astronomers. But more wonderful, were the hummingbirds that zapped around the flowers at its base. That’s another bit of natures biomechanics wonderment at work! (It’s a crap photo, but look for the slug-like dangle just off-centre, and imagine something beautiful).

The bus back down to the car, and a drive back through Hollywood, crossing Vine, past the (very long) Walk of Fame again. Only today it’s even better. Some renegade protest group have stuck a load of vinyl “Trump Stars” to the pavement, overnight, given that the original one keeps being vandalised.

Down Sunset Boulevard, past the art-deco Sunset Tower Hotel (where John Wayne once lived in a Penthouse with a cow, for fresh milk, obvs!), the Viper Room and the Whisky-A-Go-Go clubs, and on to Beverly Hills and Rodeo Drive. Bloody hell, there’s some dosh swilling around down there!

We then headed across to Venice, just a couple of miles south of our hotel, and managed to find a parking spot on a side road. Better than the $18+ parking charges, so long as the car is there and drivable when we get back! Oh, btw, there are canals…

A one block walk to Venice Beach, and we all got a surprise. Yes, there’s a pretty-much constant smell of marijuana (if you can’t tell, I’m a prude, and not a fan), and there are some pretty sketchy looking folk around, but we all really took to it.

Earlier in the day, I’d managed to suss out the elecy scooters, having registered with a competitor to “Lime”, called “Bird”, who accept UK driving licenses now, so as soon as we were on the boardwalk, we hunted one down using the app.

Three “broken” ones before finding one that worked, but after that, it was fab! I just wish we could have hired three, but despite an obvious lack of regard for the rules (Police turn a blind-eye), technically Charlie was too young. So we got one, and all shared it.

It was actually a highlight of LA/ Santa Monica. We loved the scooter experience, especially down Venice Beach.

I also loved (but would have loved even more if I could have joined in), the scratch basketball games going on, on the many courts. Proper “White Men Can’t Jump” moments!

So much so, I borrowed my scooter off Charlie, and whizzed the extra 2/3rds of a mile up the road, to where the court was, in one of the opening scenes of the film, even though it’s now only recognisable from the pink/turquoise hotel in the background.

We had a really good hour or so on the beachfront. Eventually turning back, with Jane Pokemoaning, me limping with my gammy Achilles, and Charlie in his element, electric scooter!

After passing “Muscle Beach” where the best thing I saw was an accolade to the original Hulk, we headed back to the hotel, carefully following the official “Tsunami Evacuation Route”.

Clear the car of all the accumulated “detritus”, ready to hand back tomorrow, carting most of the crap back to the room, and then out for tea.

A quick lap of our block made us realise we had previously headed out in the wrong way, anti-clockwise and you get to a point where you turn back and end up at Cheesecake Factory. Clockwise and there are loads of really nice looking bar/restaurants.

We ate at Plan Check Kitchen, just off Santa Monica Boulevard. (Go on…now say that again in the style of Sheryl Crow).

Burger for me, Squid for Charlie and Jane, and we’re done for the night. We had a bit of a blow out on our last night, although we may get even more value out of that, given that I ate lots of coleslaw, and had a pint of (deliberately) sour ale.

It may meant the California Clean Air act is broken overnight!

And on that note (a deep, low one), Night, night, all!

West Coast USA – Day 20

Not unsurprisingly, I woke at around 4am. Looks like another sunrise photography session for me!

I dressed, grabbed the camera gear and tripod, my fleece hoody, and set off the very short walk to the beachfront. We’re just one small block of the main Oceanside road, so a couple of warm-up photos of the streets, neon signs and passing cars, whilst it was still dark, to get my settings sorted, and then across to the Marina.

A little known fact is that Santa Barbara is the birthplace of commercial diving, with much of the early technology pioneered here in the very early 60’s and tested in the waters around the marina.

The Maritime Museum, where we ate last night is now the home of the Purisima Diving Bell, the first lockout diving bell, that allowed divers to swim in, breathe mixed gas “air” and then continue diving. It’s been restored and sits outside the museum for all to see. Even at just after 5am.

Sadly, the sunrise was somewhat ‘flat’ due to the thick higher level mist, but I got a couple of on photos, prior to the light picking up. Not great, but they’ll do.

An early morning meander around the nearby main streets, an encounter with a hummingbird, (wrong lens and not the light to take a good photo), and then back to the hotel.

I was back well before 7am, so all was still quiet. I showered, razored my head again (it’s staying “Yul Brynner” for now), packed up, loaded the car, and published yesterday’s blog. Oh, and completed my 836th consecutive Solitaire “Daily Challenge”.

Two crap cups of “Hawaiian Filter Coffee”, and eventually there was some movement from the others.

Breakfast was a continental affair, in a small and overcrowded, but very nicely furnished lobby area. A slightly better coffee and a couple of cream cheese toasted bagels, and we checked out at not long after 9am. We did much better setting off today!

A drive around Santa Barbara, and it very Spanish-inspired architecture. The courthouse is amazing! Apparently. I missed the turn. And the Mission is also really impressive.

Charlies didn’t get out of the car. And his dad of using the DSLR is also over. I’m realising he’s probably just a tad young or maybe & more likely, it’s just a generational thing. I suspect his highlights will be getting home to play Fortnite, and getting to hotels with good internet so he can chat with his mates and watch Netflix/YouTube stuff on his phone. Shame, but I hope he does end up realising some of the stuff he’s seen is really quite impressive!

Sometimes I feel the world is just too connected. Virtual is great, but reality can be way more mind-blowing! (Yes, I know that’s two-faced when I’m writing these “blogs”).

Because of that, we took the roads back to the coast and headed East/South East and down to Los Angeles & Santa Monica, where we’re staying for the last two nights.

Last two…wow. It’s been an amazing hols. Sedona, and Meteor Crater seem so long ago!

But, all good things etc. And anyway, we’ve all reached the end of our lead. We’re all missing our Toby and are desperate to see him. Even though we know his Aunty Sheila and Jude will have made a home from home for him, we can’t wait to get back to him.

After around an hour-forty, we entered LA on the 101, and headed for the Walk of Fame and the Chinese Theatre to check out the stars, handprints and footprints.

Charlie wanted to see Donald Trumps Star. We now know why! It’s continuously vandalised to the point where they’ve fenced it off and covered it up. So people just graffiti it, instead!

A quick, expensive sandwich for each of us, in the Hollywood & Hymen Mall (I think that’s what it was called), and then off to wherever our next destination would be. I’ve abdicated responsibility now. I’ve got them this far, now it’s time for a break from logistics.

Apparently that meant we are going to the hotel but need to drift for an hour before checking in.

I tried to drive to the parking lot, that was that early scene in White Men Can’t Jump where Billy Hoyle (Woody Harrelson) first meets Sydney Deane (Wesley Snipes) and tries to hustle him like Rev. John Squares did every time I “D’d” up on him.

Parking is horrific, even though the courts are actually a parking lot, and I gave up. For now. Perhaps a pre-dawn visit is in order!

Back to the hotel and it’s one of those bloody valet park larks. “Your rooms not ready, sir. Leave your bags in the car, and here’s a ticket. Call us when you want your things and we’ll bring the car ‘round”.

That’s all too “Hello, Mr Airey. When you need a wee, just press this button, and someone will bob around and help you – at their convenience. Oh and by the way, it’s $40 a night to park in the hotel you’ve already paid a premium to stay at.” No thanks, I’m a control freak, I’ll have you know! Good grief, I’m a grumpy old bloke!

We went for a stroll on the Santa Monica Pier, which we’ve paid a premium to be opposite.

Tbh…meh! Looks nice now mind, in the dark, all lit up. I suppose we did see a mariachi version of Donald Trump, though. So it made up.

After that back to try to check in again. This time successfully. Brucey bonus was they’d not moved the car, so it was that bit easier to sort out our luggage and get in to the “pier-view” room.

A quick pit-stop and out to find somewhere for tea. I know Jane and Charlie had wanted to try the Cheesecake Factory, and having seen the menu was actually way more extensive than cheese and cake (it’s the future).

Up the lift/elevator to the rooftop

Terrace but then seated in the vast interior space. Where we sat. For around 20 minutes before we were able to get someone to actually come and serve us. Another 5 minutes and our drink was served. Well, not our drink. Someone else’s. So that was removed. Another 5 and our drinks did turn up. Via another server. Apparently our last server was “detained in the bathroom”. I’ll be honest, I’m glad they changed servers – that didn’t bode well.

We did eventually get food. Via another, and very jolly server. And it was really good. Pizzas for Charlie and I, and pot-stickers for jane with a bowl of dip with cheesy greeniness and nachos. Ask her, I can’t remember what the greeniness was. Veg of some description.

We finished, rejected the ‘check’, reminded them that there was an offer of “the drinks are on us, to make it up to you” (which it didn’t), and settled once corrected.

From there we had a plan.

It turns out that Santa Monica, like San Fran, have been taken over by a “scourge”, a “public nuisance” – shareable electric scooters! They are everywhere. Including all of the places that state categorically “no Scooters, it’s the law”. As is riding without a drivers licence or helmet, or parking in designated spots.

It’s a lawless Wild West here! Nothing has changed in a couple of hundred years. They may be iron horses of sorts, rather than the crapping, hay eating ones, but they are everywhere.

I think they’re fab. Look fun. Remind me of being a kid all those hours ago. i don’t even think it needs “legally” regulating, as is now happening. Users just need to be more responsible. Attitude not Acts of Law. Oh, well.

Charlie and I were having some of that, though! Ok, so you’re supposed to be 16 and hold a driving license since last week!

Which is where it fell apart. We downloaded the app, recommended each other and gained $5 in credit for doing so, and scanned a bar code of a “Lime” scooter. Side one of drivers license, check! Side two – not recognised. It was a no-go for launch.

And I almost missed one of the best sunsets ever. Photos only from iPhone, not DSLR, but still, you get the gist.

Back to the hotel via a local store with a few bottles of “Rebel Rouser Double IPA” for me, and a bottle of Coke, a Sprite and two bags of Skittles for the Sugar Twins.

That’s game over for today. I think it was a hard-fought draw. Not really my thing this place so far, but will try and stay open-minded for our final day.

Hollywood sign and Griffith Observatory are on the draft agenda. Let’s see what transpires, though!

Night folks! Well, not quite, it seems!

It’s 10:30pm, and for the last hour or so, the summary is as such:

    People on balcony below, repeatedly smoking (forgive my naivety), huge blifters. The lass in the hotel bathrobe is full-on trollied!

    I can now clearly determine if it’s a police siren or a non-ObamaCare private illness-taxi (we call them Ambulances)
    I also know the difference between drift-race, nitrous-oxide-pumped, Japanese Street race cars and “American Muscle” by their very loud exhaust notes.

On that exhaust (and siren) note, I bid thee farewell!

West Coast USA – Day 19

Lying here in bed at 9:26pm, after our best meal of the hols by a country mile!

We’re now in Santa Barbara, so wandered down to the harbor [sic] front, a block down and west.

We tried to eat at the place recommended by our host for the evening, Ben, which was to try the Brophy Brothers Bar/Café, but with an hour wait, we bailed and went next door to the Waterfront Grill. Seated almost immediately, we ordered drinks and perused the menu.

On the way down, which I’ll cover shortly, I asked two questions:

  1. Best accommodation so far (with two to go)
  1. Best meal (with three to go)

Answers to 1) we’re pretty unanimous, the last few nights at the Hyatt Regency Monterey, and Zion.

Answers to 2) we were also pretty unanimous – “We haven’t had any”!

To be fair, not true, as we had a great Italian meal in Page. But many evenings we’ve just not either needed or felt like having a “nice” meal. We also agreed that sometimes the portion sizes are just off-putting, leaving us to have starter or “snacky” things.

We made up for it tonight, though! Charlie had an amazing Burger – ground-steak, medium-rare, and he reckoned it was top-two lifetime Burgers!

I had to try a small cup of their “award-winning” clam chowder, but followed this by their special of Shrimp Linguine.

Meanwhile, Jane pulled no punches and went straight for her all-time fave, a whole Maine Lobster tail. Served plain-grilled, with a baked potato, scooped and re-filled with added cheese and spring onions.

The meal was phenomenally good! And weirdly cost about the same as last nights thoroughly dreadful meal. More fool us!

It’s a massive harbour. Most are relatively small/medium “pleasure craft”, but there is still a pretty big commercial fishing industry here, albeit, not on a “mass” scale. I’m hoping for a nice, slightly misty, but not foggy early morning. I could get some interesting pictures then.

So this morning we all very belatedly got up, even me – it was almost 7am when I showered, packed, and cleaned and then loaded the car.

That late start was going to cost us later. It’s a hefty drive today, albeit down one of the most scenic roads in the world. It’s 151 miles door to door. Which google and Sat-Navs will tell you is a 2h38 trip. Absolute nonsense. For lots of reasons.

We left Monterey on Highway 1, and immediately hit the traffic jam caused by roadworks near Carmel. We darted off and meandered through Carmel and then Carmel Heights. Bloody hell, those properties are stunning!

We then got back on “PCH” (read yesterday’s for background), and travelled the 55mph road, like everyone else at around 30-40mph. And stopped at nearly every turn-in, even though it was misty.

It’s part of the attraction actually. The sea mist blankets the ocean, rolls onshore and up the steep hills as far as it can and then rolls back, just like the sea is doing below it. Simply fluid dynamics, plus orographic uplift, plus the moist adiabatic lapse rate, kicking in. But we know that. Charlie was unimpressed.

Lots of stops later, we got to Ragged Point. This is the point where TomTom wanted me to turn around, drive back to Monterey and take an entirely different route, to move 3 miles up this same road.

The reason is that the road around here got washed away in a massive landslide, about 14 months ago, and they had to not just rebuild the road, but invent and build a new route, slightly higher up the steep slopes.

TomTom freaked for a while and then readjusted on the other side. Now we could actually pay attention to her (it’s a female voice) and follow her lead to the Franciscan Inn, Santa Barbara.

Next stop was a funky one! The Elephant Seal viewing point. Just off the road, there’s a beach. And it is jam-packed with male and female elephant seals. Those bulls are beasts! Massive and right feisty! I know it’s all to do with the ladies and being an alpha male, but their behaviour was akin to the Bamboo Club in Hazel Grove on a Saturday night around midnight!

After another “while”, the road kicks inland and you drift away from the coast. By now, we’d been driving & sightseeing for around 4 hours, so Hearst Castle may well be brilliant, but we were happy to see it from a distance.

We did carry out a brief and minor detour, to check out Morro Bay. We stopped, had a quick look around, realised that the place to eat seems to be Giovanni’s Fish Market And Galley, which had a queue outside longer than Anthony Scaramucci’s term at the White House. (My attempt at belated ‘topical’). It looks a funky place, does Morro Bay. We’d spend time there.

Back on Highway 1, or had it become the 101, by then? Not sure.

Next was Pismo Beach, but we were having a bit of bother by then. The traffic was horrific. It was now 4:40pm and rush hour had kicked in big time. We were averaging around 20mph. Not good.

So by the time we turned off to take a look at Pismo, in reality, we just drove through very quickly, and got back on the Highway and into the traffic jam a couple of miles further on. We didn’t see enough of Pismo to form an opinion, sadly.

After that, the drive became a chore. The traffic didn’t abate, and all the delays meant that we were looking at close to 7 1/2 hours between hotels. Not a great day for anyone, especially Charlie. Sorry, lad.

We finally arrived in Santa Barbara at around 6:30, having spent the previous hour, driving through fields of wine-producing vines, and estates (well, one) of monkey-loving, affected pop-stars with lots of personality anxieties. Neverland Valley Ranch in Los Olivos, was “MJ’s” home to Bubbles, and sleepovers with his friends, some of whom happened to be minors, allegedly.

Ben checked us in to the Franciscan Inn. He’s very, very good at his job. Bearing in mind we were all a tad frayed around the edges after our drive, he was really welcoming, funny, and usefully informative.

After a good chat about the World Cup and Man City (he’s a Spurs fan from Tunisia), we threw our bags in the room and headed straight out for something to eat.

Which I’ve already told you about. But it’s now 22:54. So, I’ll call it a day. We really, really do need to be out earlier tomorrow!

I can only hope! Night folks.